GOOD TO KNOW!
TO THE MERCURY: You're a bunch of close-minded bigots. Go to hell.
CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?
DEAR SIRS: I respectfully request that you cease and desist from this obnoxious "he said/she said" bickering [Letters, Jan 13]. In case you have forgotten, the Mercury and Basic Rights Oregon are ON THE SAME SIDE! Why is the fundamentalist Christian right kicking ass and taking names? Because they work together, lock step. Even if they have in-fighting, they have a united front. So, when Rebekah Kassell of BRO and Scott Moore of the Mercury put their fragile egos aside, stop pointing fingers and placing blame on each other, they might realize that gasp… they're not enemies! They should be, in fact, allies in the common fight against the perpetrators of intolerance that are taking over our fucking country! So, in the words of Rodney King… "Can't we all just get along"?
WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY RESPONDS: Benno, the Mercury isn't against Basic Rights Oregon… we're against YOU. Specifically your horseshit namby-pamby "Let's Love Each Other!" attitude that got gay rights into its current and complacent predicament. Like it or don't, it's our job to light the fire under organizations like BRO, and make sure they're aggressively and intelligently doing everything they possibly can to obtain full and equal rights--because, frankly speaking, no one else is going to do it.
BOWLING FOR LAFFS
DEAR MERCURY: I laughed so hard reading the angry letters from the hilariously outraged fans of Bowling For Soup [Letters, Jan 27]. Here are some things I HAVE to say: Dear Katie, the Mercury is a FREE newspaper, not a magazine. Whoever passed this off as a magazine and took this poor girl's money, shame on you! Jhonnie, I'm sure your friend is listening to Bowling For Soup in heaven. And, finally, to all BFS fans: I have never heard of Bowling For Soup, but now I'll avoid them as long as I live--even though they are "just totall sweet hearts!"
NOW I'M OFFENDED!
TO THE MERCURY: Believe it or not, I've never been offended by anything that's been printed in the Mercury. Until now. If you have any brains/decency/common sense, you will not publish any information about whether rape (fantasy or not) is hot [Sex Survey, Jan 20]. Really, please reconsider.
WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY RESPONDS: After taking a moment to reconsider, we've decided to publish the information anyway. And that's because "sex" surveys deal with "sex," which is often dirty, morally repugnant--and therefore fun. I'm pretty sure 99.9% of our readers would agree actual rape is not hot. So give them a little credit, why don'tcha? (P.S. If you really want to be offended, check out our "New Column!" on page 5. That even offends ME!)
KNOW YOUR HIPPIE HISTORY
TO THE MERCURY: [Re: Letters, Jan 20, in which "A Concerned Hippie" wrote in to inform us that hippies "were some of the first to speak out against the government."] The title "hippie" is actually a label based on drug use and not any type of revolutionary attitude. In the opium dens of the early 1900s, users had to lie on their side in order to tip the pipe over the candle flame.
I think the drug use of the "hippie" movement was one of its primary mistakes. You called them one of the first groups to speak out against the government. This can not even be true from an American point of view since people have been revolting against oppressive governing bodies since the beginning of any type of wealthy elite.
So, in the case of the "hippies," they didn't want to go to war. Yet instead of really getting some shit done they mostly whined, fucked and got fucked up. Some fantastic literature came out of the era, true, but did it get anything changed? Furthermore, Hawthorne can only be considered a beautiful place with beautiful people if you consider capitalism and exploitation of 3rd world countries to be beautiful. Hawthorne is as commercial and capitalist of a place as I have ever seen, regardless of how many headshops it has.
CONGRATS TO SCOTT for winning the Mercury "Letter of the Week!" Scott will receive two tickets to the Laurelhurst, two passes to see Electric Eel Shock at Dante's on Feb 17, and two smelly hippies who will inform him that he's "harshing their buzz." OH, AND DON'T FORGET! Join us this Friday for Smokey and the Bandit, this week's featured film at the hilarious Prozac Film Fest! See page 38 for details!