[TO OUR READERS: Last week the Mercury printed a letter on our cover from Douglas R. Scott, president of Life Decisions International. In the letter, Mr. Scott warned the Mercury that we should stop supporting Planned Parenthood, or risk being picketed and placed on their "Boycott List." Naturally, we told them to cram it up their ass. What follows are some readers who have similar thoughts.]
TO WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY:
I loved your March 31 cover page and letter to Douglas Scott! You did the best thing one can do to stand up to these extremist fanatics-- expose them and hold them up to the ridicule they so justly deserve.
For your readers who want join the protest, it's easy to help push the Mercury to the top of the boycott list by making a donation to your local Planned Parenthood. Call us at (503) 788-7277, e-mail email@example.com, write a check and send it to Planned Parenthood of the Columbia/Willamette, 3231 SE 50th Ave, Portland, OR 97206, or simply drop by any of our seven health centers in the Portland/Vancouver area. You can also donate online at www.plannedparenthood.org to support our national and international efforts.
Thank you so much for your passionate support. You are just terrific.
David Greenberg, Ph.D., President and CEO
Planned Parenthood of the Columbia/Willamette
DEAR "LIFE DECISIONS INTERNATIONAL":
I just read Douglas R. Scott's letter on the cover of the Mercury's new issue. As an ardent supporter of Planned Parenthood and the indispensable services it provides, I found your attempted bullying of the Mercury rather disturbing. That quickly turned to laughter, though, when I read editor Wm. Steven Humphrey's retort, which gave your distressing missive the smackdown it deserved.
You Christian conservatives are the biggest hypocrites on the planet. You decry the "Culture of Death" on your website, yet your President is responsible for the--deaths of thousands of civilians and soldiers, both American and Iraqi. I can't think of anything more immoral. You've turned a comatose vegetable of a woman named Terri Schiavo into a pedestal upon which to preach your "pro-life" agenda. My own mother has told me that "if I'm ever hooked up to life support machines or in a coma, I want to be UNPLUGGED." I told her "put it in writing, because I don't want any gray area for the pro-life freaks to exploit." In case you didn't get it, "pro-life freaks" is YOU and your organization.
I certainly hope to find my name on your Boycott List in the near future.
toNY THE avenger
Your cover story/letter on this week's issue is hysterical! I was so moved, I checked out fightpp.org and was delighted to discover that the website not only lists many organizations that support Planned Parenthood, but also highlights supportive celebrities and other lesser known people.
Drawing upon your inspiration, I e-mailed those jerks and demanded that my name be added to the list (I won't tell them I'm not famous if you don't). I encourage all like-minded folks to go to fightpp.org and do the same. Thanks again!
TO THE MERCURY:
YOU EFFIN' ROCK! Thank you for being so strong in your support for a group who are committed to making the world a better place, one infertile womb at a time. Because of the way you handled these dummies, I've made two new resolutions: 1) I will henceforth frequent at least two Mercury advertisers per week, and 2) I will support Planned Parenthood monetarily (i.e. give 'em cash). In addition to providing low cost reproductive health care to people in various income brackets, they are the most friendly, sweet, knowledgeable people on the planet when it comes to girl stuff, and I will trust my snatch to no one else. Thanks, Mercury, for doing the world a service and making me laugh as well.
By the way, girls! Go to Planned Parenthood today, get on the pill, and avoid the abortion issue altogether! Taking the pill is fun! (At least it beats changing diapers and trying to track down deadbeat dads.)
RIGHT YOU ARE, LISSY! And congrats on winning the Mercury "Letter of the Week!" You're the proud new parent of a pair of tickets to the Laurelhurst, as well as two passes to see Rasputina at Dante's on May 10! SUPPORT PLANNED PARENTHOOD! RAH!!