HIPSTERS: NOT SPECIAL
DEAR MERCURY—I would like to offer yet another perspective on the roiling Portland "hipster debate" of 2007 ["The H-Word," Feature, June 7]. Has anyone noticed that the descriptive language many Mercury proselytes have used to identify the prototypical PDX hipster (i.e., "ironic," "xenophobic," "overly concerned with fashion," "condescendingly dismissive attitude toward everything outside their insular realm," "sheep-like trend follower," "narcissistic," "smug," etc.) could quite easily characterize most college-educated, trust-funded, white twentysomethings in the United States?
DEAR MERCURY—I live within walking distance of the Country Cat, and while it's really nice that Adam Sappington thinks my neighborhood deserves good, high-quality food, it's too bad he doesn't think we deserve affordable food ["Cat Class, Cat Style," Last Supper, June 7]. It's pretty silly that I can't afford to eat at the closest restaurant to my house and I have to drive to the more expensive Hawthorne neighborhood to dine out at a reasonable price.
THE CARPENTER CLASS
DEAR MERCURY—These rednecks are getting $29 an hour AND benefits??!! ["Negotiation, Shmegotiation," News, June 14] Don't look for any sympathy from this reader who IS a skilled union worker doing quite well, thank you, on a fraction of that by living within my means. And these yahoos are SUFFERING by paying $75 a week to drive their trucks to work? Haven't these bozos heard of fuel efficiency? Give me a fucking break, and just where do I sign up to be a carpenter, too?
PARADE OF TRAGEDY
HEY—I thought that little section about tearing up the tape last week was a joke ["Join the Mercury Civic Clean-Up Crew—Get a Free Lawn Chair!," New Column!, June 7]! Imagine my surprise when I opened the Merc this week and found out that you REALLY took people around and ripped up the parade tape ["Tapegate," Letters, June 14]! It made my heart sing to hear that some of those assholes were thwarted. I fucking hate parades of all kinds. I think they are a tragic waste of energy and resources.
THE REAL SIDEWALK ISSUE
DEAR MERCURY—Am I the only person who realizes that taping your spot for the parade is AKA LITTERING ["Tapegate," Letters, June 14]? It's like I could get out of every littering ticket if I just tell the officer I'll be back for it later. The public sidewalk is a funny thing, especially how people want to defend something that's technically illegal because it involves their messy tradition, but don't care about a certain sit-lie ordinance that affects their basic liberties.
KNOCKED UP KNOCKED DOWN
DEAR MERCURY—Man I was bummed to see the film Knocked Up getting such a rave review from Film Editor Erik Henriksen ["Condoms Are Awesome," Film, May 31]. Henriksen must have his head so far up Hollywood's ass to be calling the movie "smart," let alone the funniest movie of the year.
THE GENIUS OF BUCKINGHAM
DEAR MERCURY—Tell Brian Smith his article on Lindsey Buckingham not only brought a smile to my face, but delivered a brilliant musician's name to the masses of Portland ["I Know I'm Not Wrong," Music, June 14]. I've been trying to tell people about the genius of Lindsey Buckingham for years. Maybe someone will listen now that the Merc has put its über cool stamp on it.
CONGRATULATIONS TO DYLAN for the swooning appreciation of aging genius Lindsey Buckingham. We love to see a good swoon! Dylan gets two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater, plus lunch for two at No Fish! Go Fish!, where the soup might make you swoon, too.
COVER YOUR ASS... TONIGHT!!
Hey Readers! If you're reading this on Thursday, June 21, be sure to dash over to the Crystal Ballroom TONIGHT at 8 pm for the COVER YOUR ASS! benefit show for Ethos! Only $5 (or the donation of a musical instrument) gets you NINE hot local bands doing hee-larious covers of such musical greats as Beastie Boys, Michael Jackson, Mötley Crüe, and more! It's the danciest, funnest event of the season, so don't miss it! 21+! (For more info, see Up & Coming, pg. 21!)
AND ANOTHER THING!
You have until noon on Monday, June 25 to enter our Mercury Coloring Contest! Win $200! Download yours now at portlandmercury.com!