PINBALL'S NOT DEAD—YOU ARE!
DEAR MERCURY: Since I am unable to reach through my internet connection and bitch-slap Justin W. Sanders, I guess this is going to have to suffice. Pinball is dead, you say?!?! ["The Last of the Pinball Machines," Feb 2] Well, since I am a pinballer myself I have to say—you're an idiot! Pinball is not even close to being dead. I suggest that next time before you start regurgitating the PBR you drank the night before into sentences—take some time and do some research... not like it's your fucking job or anything...
DEAR MERCURY AND ANN ROMANO: Ann Romano wrote in last week's One Day at a Time [Feb 2], "Fans of hard-boiled cinema are mourning the passing of tough guy Chris Penn who died last night of seemingly natural causes—he was tipping the scales at 270 pounds, after all." Her flip remark about his size and the implication that this explains his sudden death is a perfect example of the fat prejudice and size-ism we all need to fight. First off, the autopsy results are pending. No one will know for six weeks what he died of. Secondly, he was known to be sick and to take massive amounts of drugs. Please do not make quick judgments based on your own size prejudice and please consider doing some research before you add to the steaming pile of fat-hating bullshit that is served up every day.
THE MERCURY RESPONDS: Krissy— HE WAS 270 POUNDS. However, we do agree there's a steaming pile of fat-hating bullshit served up every day! Just check out the I, Anonymous (pg. 59) in this week's issue! And you think Ann's mean!
WHERE'S THE COMICS, MAN?
TO THE EDITOR VIA VOICEMAIL: "I would like to know where the comics are, man! I picked up the February 9 issue and no comics! There's a bunch of valentines and other things, but man I miss those comics! Where are the comics? I hope they come back!"
THE MERCURY RESPONDS: They're back, man! Page 59!
A SUBJECTIVE LOOK AT WHAT MATTERS
DEAR MERCURY: I'm sure Adam Gnade is a perfectly nice guy, but as a writer he's a jackrod. There's nothing classier than honoring a dead musician's legacy [Elliott Smith] by worrying about whether you're a pussy or not [Music, Feb 2]. And half of that Elected article was about how people don't like Rilo Kiley [Music, Feb 9]. Well, I like Rilo Kiley, but I thought the Elected album was warmed-over, insipid '70s California rock, which is totally played. So maybe tell him to stop writing about shit that doesn't matter or to shut up.
A BETTER POT POLICY
DEAR MERCURY: I wanted to write and say what a great article the Merc did on the marijuana initiative [News, Feb 9, wherein cops would be asked to de-prioritize pot busts]. As you pointed out in the article, the sky hasn't fallen in cities that have passed similar initiatives. In fact, Portland, like Seattle, stands to benefit from being on the front lines of drug reform. The amount of tax dollars used to arrest and prosecute drug users could be used to house and provide healthy alternatives for people living in poverty.
ERIK + SONY = ♥
TO ERIK HENRIKSEN: I read your article and no doubt you are a true-to-life Sony fan [Geek Out, Feb 9]. Don't take that as a compliment. Don't get me wrong: I was a Sony fan up until PS2. Sony thinks that we'll just buy whatever they try to sell us but... some of us aren't sheep. I think you're expecting too much and you'll be sorely disappointed if you genuinely think that the PS3 is going to be anything more than equal to the 360. I've seen the 360 in action and I think they've done a fantastic job. If Sony can rise to the occasion, I'll be surprised.
CONGRATULATIONS TO BERNARD for winning the Mercury's "Letter of the Week"! While Bernard may have already seen the 360 in action, we're thinking he may be due to get out of the house for a bit, so we're giving him two tickets to see Mazarin on Fri March 24 at Dante's, plus $30 to spend at No Fish! Go Fish!, where PS3 and 360 fans always dine together in harmony.