IN TOTAL DISAGREEMENT
DEAR MERCURY—I just read your review of Imagination... [Film Shorts, Feb 28] I so totally disagree. I am in raptures over this film. It's gorgeous. It's wonderful. Its soundtrack is haunting. Every camera angle is innovative. It was mentored by Czech genius Jan Svankmejer. It shows how much creativity you can squeeze out of $100,000 (peanut shells compared to the full budget of a feature-length film). I can't wait to meet the filmmakers tomorrow night! Imagination is genius.
SOFO: STILL DANGEROUS
DEAR MERCURY—Hey Lawrence [Man-shard, author of "Good-Bye, Felony Flats," Feature, Feb 28], dude! My man is distraught, you hoser. Your article gave him the sweet impression of safety in our SoFo neighborhood. After reading your story, he felt safe enough to move his Astrovan around the corner, even though he usually parks on Foster. But within hours of your story hitting the streets, his window was smashed and stereo ripped out. This SoFo neighborhood isn't that cleaned up, and my man is paying for your phony words of security. And now I have to ride on the Plexiglass side, which won't roll down when I want to toss my beer cans out. You owe my boyfriend $28.50 for the Clarion stereo, Larry—and a Marilyn Manson CD.
JUST THE GUY
DEAR MERCURY—I must protest the photo you used for the introduction to "Good-Bye, Felony Flats" [Feature, Feb 28] about the meth-infested South Foster neighborhood. The fellow pictured is known in the area as "The Guy." By using his photo as your cover to the article, are you saying that The Guy is a meth dealer? Or is it just because he is homeless that you find the need to associate him with meth? I would just like to point out that he is not a meth dealer or meth head. He's just The Guy, a well-known image in the Foster area. Plus, he's a nice guy.
HANDS OFF OF WYCLEF JEAN!
DEAR MERCURY—I've lived in Portland my whole life. I'm a musician who sings reggae music, and I am constantly amazed at your writers' incompetence with the music scene in Portland. In the last [issue], I read about the midnite show at the Roseland [Up & Coming, Feb 28]. The writer had no business speaking about reggae music. He wrote false information, slandered hiphop's bad influence on reggae, and personally attacked Wyclef Jean?! You guys should be ashamed of yourselves. Focus on the band you're promoting instead of blabbing on about negative bullshit.
TEENAGE FAN CLUB
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN—I am a Portland native, and I have been reading your paper for eight years now—since I was the ripe young age of 13. "But our weekly isn't quite appropriate for pre-teens!" you say. Well that may be, but I think regardless of age your paper is geared toward those with an ear for humor and the patience for critical thinking. Every week I continue to learn new things about my town, local government, our police force, and occasionally the ludicrous happenings that are often "Hollyweird" in origin. You are one of the few local publications that I find practicing independent media in an entertaining and successful way. I have always, and will continue to appreciate your paper for its entertainment, thought provocation, and local coverage of "the little guy." Keep up the good work, and for god's sake don't you go changing on me—I do not want to have to quit making papier-mâché teapots out of the
Willamette Week and start actually reading it.
ACTUALLY, KIND OF AGREE
DEAR MERCURY—Well, this is awkward ["In Total Disagreement," Letters, March 6, top of page]. I went and saw Imagination the other night, and I have to say I had a very different experience.... It didn't seem so good on the big screen. In fact, parts of it (like the acting) [seemed] laughably bad. I think I may have been quite drunk the first time I saw it. There are still segments I like a lot, but you're right, it would've been much better as a short film.
So... you win this round!
NO TONY, YOU WIN. It's not all that unusual that you write in to us on a thrice-weekly basis to let us know that you disagree with our reviews, but the fact that you follow up with updates—even concessions to our point—is surely worthy of notice. You win two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater and lunch at No Fish! Go Fish!, where the customer is always right.