SHUT DOWN THE SHUT DOWNS
HELLO—Please run some letters protesting the incredibly stupid decision to shut down the city for that bike race on Sunday [Bridge Pedal, Aug 10]. How many thousands of people were stuck in traffic? How many of them were trying to get to work on time? How many people were trying to get to the airport on time? To get married? How many 911 calls were delayed because of that stupid race? How many people were trying to get to the hospital? How many ambulances were stuck in that traffic? And all so that some people could play in the street? I'm sure they had a lot of fun, but they inconvenienced tens of thousands—hundreds of thousands?—of people, and the odds are that some of those people had some important shit to do.
DEAR MERCURY—I am no fan of Scientology ["Selling Scientology," Feature, Aug 7], but I find it pretty absurd that people single out this group as a "cult" while attending whatever church they view as legit. I think one of the reasons people hate Scientology so passionately is because of the way it exposes what a rip-off ALL religions are. Mystical pseudo-existential musings? Check. Oppression of anyone who dares to disagree? Check. A rigid hierarchy to enforce social structures? Check. A book of often contradictory tenets treated as dogma, but completely open to subjective interpretation? Check. And a desire to get as much money and as many followers as possible, with the long-term objective of dominating the spirituality of all humans? Damn straight. I am in total agreement with people who make fun of Scientology, but when I hear a Christian or other religious pawn referring to the group as a "cult" or a "racket"—well, shit... that's the pot calling the shamrock green, man.
THE DISNEY PRINCESSES MUST BE STOPPED
DEAR MERCURY—We have a problem that you are uniquely qualified to help us with ["Ask a Seven-Year-Old Girl Who Doesn't Care About Anything Except Disney Princesses," New Column!, July 31]. We are a small medical research office that has recently hired a new receptionist/medical assistant. The problem, as you may have guessed, is that he is a 40-Year-Old Man That Doesn't Care About Anything Except Disney Princesses. It started off small: a bright, colorful Hello Kitty mouse attached to his computer, an Aladdin mouse pad, a Little Mermaid figurine. Now, it's out of control. The desktop is covered with dozens of Ariels and Jasmines and princesses I can't even name. There's a snow globe as big as a turkey. It's hard to talk seriously to a 40-year-old man while Snow White looms over his desk. BTW, this is not a private office, or even a cubicle, but the front desk in a busy (adult) medical office. So, SYOGWDCAAEDP, how do we get the coworker to spend less time fixated on Disney princesses and more time on his job, without crushing his tender Disney spirit?
The Ugly Step Sisters
CONGRATULATIONS TO THE UGLY STEP SISTERS for their sensitivity toward their princess-obsessed coworker. May we suggest taking him to see a film that showcases more appropriate role models, such as Krull, the 1983 fantasy adventure movie in which the heroic Prince Colwyn undertakes a quest to rescue Princess Lyssa from the Black Fortress with a magic five-bladed sword. Yes, that should do the trick. As luck would have it, Krull is playing this Friday at the Laurelhurst Theater to which you have won two tickets, plus lunch at No Fish! Go Fish!, where everyone is treated like a princess.