MATT [DAVIS] AND EDITORS AT THE PORTLAND MERCURY—I read Matt's blog post last week and kind of winced ["Shit Hits the Fan on the Sit/Lie Law," Sept 11]. After the SAFE oversight committee meeting, Mike Kuykendall approached me and started a conversation. About halfway through the conversation I said something akin to the following: "I hope that you'd recognize that Sisters of the Road and the Portland Business Alliance are in a fight over this law," then followed up with, "there are a lot of people on both sides of this issue, working toward either ending the law or keeping it, all of which are feeling a bit tense." Although I regret using the word "fight," I do feel Sisters of the Road and the Portland Business Alliance are on opposite sides of this important issue.
—Patrick Nolen, Sisters of the Road
DEAREST MERCURY—In response to last week's I, Anonymous ["Members Only," Sept 18], I can only say the same goes for the girls. I like munching box as much as the next guy (okay, maybe more) but nothing is worse than thick, black, curly dental floss.
DON'T BLAME ALASKA
DEAR MERC—As both a female and a politically minded citizen, McCain's choice of Sarah Palin for VP is so downright insulting it's disgusting [One Day at a Time, ongoing]. However, as an Alaskan, I fear there's an even greater issue at hand. Alaska is getting some SERIOUSLY BAD press right now. Alaska is a state of unimaginable landscapes spotted with friendly, laidback people who genuinely appreciate nature. We've even made some decent contributions to art, if I do say so myself, from Portugal. The Man, Matt Hopper, and the Old Believers in music, to Brandon Seifert with his wonderful comics. I am begging, nay, PLEADING with the readers and the good people at the Mercury to remember this, and maybe even do a little research of your own in order to truly discover what a wonderful state Alaska really is.
DEAR MERCURY—I feel the need to express something the most recent issue unleashed upon the street, as I think you may have a bit of backlash to deal with soon. Now, this upcoming storm will not be about something actually cool or relevant like discourse on health services for prostitutes from 82nd Avenue Cares ["Red Light," Sept 18], the educated and incendiary smack to electronic artist Miss Kittin by Ava Hegedus ["The Whole Kittin Caboodle," Sept 18], nor from angry conservative men with Palin boners calling for the esteemed Ann Romano's head (again) [One Day at a Time, ongoing]. No my dear Portland Mercury, it will be because of tits. I'm all for Sex PDX [advertising insert, Sept 18]. But of course on pg. 12 of your insert there's that luscious vision of vintage debauchery totally topless and uncensored. Now, through the reputation of being smarmy and edgy (smedgy?) I know for a fact that you're professionals and not a single page would be fit to print without review. Bravo for your progressive tooth-flick to the Pleasure Police, but for some stupid reason that I can't figure out, some people are scared to death of nipples and they will beat you over your head with their kids, citing you freely allowing access to pornography. If that was your plan all along, because we all know the Tribune isn't fucking cool enough to have its own scandals, then again bravo. Just make sure that the rest of the plan includes keeping the Mercury exactly as you want it, without input from bullies who use moral outrage like a drug.
THANKS FOR CARING enough to worry about us, Soup. Actually, most of the parents we know freely allow access to titties for their kids. (WINK!) You win two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater, and lunch at No Fish! Go Fish!, where—and this is so perfect—they specialize in Soup!