Smallwood:

Shut your stupid cocksucker for a god damn minute and try to get a grip on reality. Reality is, this ass-wipe of a weekly is for entertainment purposes only. If you don't like it spend your money on something that does entertain you...wait, this is free? Ya don't say! What the the fuck were you complaining about? Lack of challenged ideas? Challenge these nuts to vacate your mouth, bitch.

PS. Portland has been irrelevant for the 34 years that I've lived here. In fact, I believe that its irrelevance is possibly the only thing giving it any relevance at all. As for this culture being yours...fuck you, culture is strictly an import in Portland. Move back to sf or ny, wherever it is they cultivate this culture you speak of.

While you may have a funny name snickerdoodle, you do have some relevant points, however I argue that Portland is irrelevant because it has'nt been for the 20 plus years I've lived here and was just fine before the douchebags you mention moved or immigrated from the Midwest for our "scene". Take it from me, you can't fight them all. Just pick them off one at a time. As for the Mercury, it's free, it can be entertaining(or alternately annoying but at least it generates a reaction in me) and Marjorie Skinner is intelligent, interesting and really hot. Oh, and while we are doing the apology thing, I apologize for making a former staffer virtually piss themselves, but that smarmy hipster BS ticks me off, particularly when you are attempting to pick up on my girlfriend in a highly annoying manner.. Overall, i give the Mercury some respect for being the more entertaining "free weekly". Well, gotta go, I need my meds. Peace.

Word. Spoken like a true tight pantsed, douchebag, hipster.

Yeah, cuz mom and dad totally burned and raped an entire Nez Pierce village in their white sheets on their way to OHSU where I was born. We promptly set up shop on their freshly desicrated burial grounds and refused to serve black people coffee in our Evironmental Destruction Cafe and Bistro. (Where we would have served you with a smile, geyser, you pasty windbag of a wannabe intellectual)

Thanks for your description of the entire "civilized" world, I feel so educated now I've finally climbed off my high horse and tuned into the voice of wisdom emanating from your mom's suicide pit of a semen stained basement.

Kill yourself.

@ Jason: What's awful is when polly-anna motherfuckers like yourself butt into a comment board battle with your goody-two-shoes bullshit and get raped like a drunk chick at a frat house. You should Seacrest your bitch-made-lame-ass out of this conversation before geyser blows a load all over your dirty unicorn face.