What the fuck did I just read. Obviously I need more. Just like the rest of you. Don't hide in shame. It's Norm.

If the Portland Mercury was a chef, it would consistently create decent, tasty meals that look great and satisfy a variety of palates. But every so often this mature, competent chef would suddenly revert to being an inconsiderate punk kid for a bit and decide to, for no good reason, sneak in a dollop of feces or a mouthful of phlegm into an otherwise healthy dish, just to be a disgusting asshole.