There are things you can't do with a fat chick, like 69 while the guy is standing up and holding her by her legs. Or at least, I can't do that, maybe I need to work out some more. However, Dan's advice is solid: Nobody is perfect, get over it, (or don't, and find someone else.)

You know, FAT, your problem really could be resolvable by rubbing them out a little more rarely, rather than everyday. The other possibility, FAT, MAY BE that you haven't been providing the correct stimulation set for your particular libido. Maybe it's really a couple GAY porn stars, and maybe a little taste of that Greek love you're so scared of, that will rock your rocks, and take the place of your towel. Jeez, wouldn't that be nice, to not necessarily be immediately lying in a pool of your own jizm produced by your own belly friction every time you get off. Experiment! Try it. You'll like it!

FAT's letter made me laugh. The guy is getting rug burn on his dick and wonders why fleshy pleasures don't do it anymore... I love Dan's advice in these situations, its really common sense. But then, that's not so common these days.

"Whack it less to get more"

Dan, you asked for it...re: Some Dude. When you want to be in a relationship with someone...you get to take them as they are...not in some fantasy body you want them in. There are fat people who eat healthy and exercise and are still fat. If he doesn't want to be in a relationship with a fat girl, he should move the fuck on, or, if he stays in this relationship he should deal with his own fatphobia.

Wow, I can't believe you're suggesting the old perv stays. The old man is hurting no one.... but HIMSELF! Brushing your teeth with someone's shit, and being totally obsessed with it, is destructive behavior, and it should not be encouraged/enabled. The old man needs real help, plain and simple. He is unstable - despite the six years.

Regarding calories/weight management: the body is a complex, dynamic, self-regulating system. I read about a study that found that your body can raise its skin temperature to burn off excess calories instead of storing them (if it wants), which explains why I can expect to wake up burning hot and absolutely parched in the middle of the night if I have a very large meal right before going to bed. The flip side is also true: instead of burning fat to close a calorie deficit, your body can just lower its skin temperature and use less energy. So, even with carefully counting calories, it really is much harder for some people than for others.

I kept wondering how FAT got the porn stars to come over. He must live in the right town, or be cute, or be rich (or some combo of the above)...otherwise that part of the story struck me as unrealistic. Damn it's voyeuristic reading this stuff...