Dan has his Ann Landers (or was it Dear Abby?) moment: the Request For Past Advice. In the case of (whichever of the two sisters it was), it was usually someone who wanted the whole "I'm Seventeen, and Too Young To Die Tragically" letter some anonymous ghoul somewhere wrote.

It's also possible that Ann or Abby just wrote themselves a letter request that ol' chestnut. In any case, Dan's advice to the young, dumb n' fulla cum comes off pretty nicely, I feel.