Wow, I forgot about that creepy Mormon ritual. There needs to be a national "Do Not Posthumously Baptize" list, or some sort of opt.

Dickheads.

Dear Savage Love,
After reading about Mormons proxy-baptizing deceased Jewish people to Mormonism after death, I became sad for all the Mormons who were never converted to gay Jews post-mortem in return. But thanks to you and Stephen Colbert, all the dead Mormons can be gay and Jewish in the afterlife.
Stephen Colbert said researchers discovered holocaust-survivor Anne Frank was converted to Mormonism nine times so far and that Ellie Wiesel is on a list of Jews to be baptized after death. I learned that newly approved Mormons are proxy-baptized in place of the dead, usually in a tub of water on the backs of twelve gilded-oxen representing the 12 tribes of Israel.
To counter this, Colbert converted all deceased Mormons to Jewish on his show so that’s covered. Thanks to your suggestion, I did my part for Mormons too. I went to www.alldeadmormonsarenowgay.com and converted deceased Mormon Diane Mcfly. Now she can be gay in the afterlife. I felt like such a supportive member of the community while helping Diane.
Thank you
-Laura Jones