I disagree with your response to EAT - I think it's highly likely that her orgasmic hang up is due to her feeling that pussy-eating is gross.

EAT, your pussy is not gross. A gay man is entirely within his rights to think so, and that will cause no problems (unless he's also a gynecologist... or a sex columnist). But you have a pussy, and you are trying to have sex with it. You need to know that it is the sexiest thing on earth.

Think of it this way: men generally don't find their penis gross. To the contrary, most of them are a little bit in love with their dick. And guess what? Most men don't find blowjobs gross, not at all. And further, guess what else? They can blow their loads easily, with even the most inept oral stimulation! I think these things all hang together (no pun intended).

You need to fall in love with your pussy, or at least be able to view it as something that could be pleasurable to get up close and personal with. Until then, you will be on some level convinced that the (lucky) guy between your legs is grossed out too, and that is a profoundly unsexy, pleasure-paralyzing thought.