Many of us, at some point, are forced to consider the possibility that we may be artists. This is not an easy time. Often we are left alone to page through slender self-help pamphlets and contemplate a life of poverty. In an effort to supplement these pamphlets, we have prepared the following questionnaire. If you think you may be afflicted with "artism," please take a minute to complete these simple quiz. Or seek help immediately from your school guidance counselor. Thank you, and good luck.
T F I have one or more tattoos.
T F I have read at least one book about/by Sylvia Plath.
T F I have sent someone a Frieda Kahlo postcard.
T F I have named a car or pet after a character in a book I read in college.
T F Sometimes I think I may be psychic.
T F I am from a broken home.
T F I had a crush on my English teacher.
T F I slept with my English teacher.
T F I can't spell.
T F I have been in therapy and/or people say I should be in therapy.
T F I play Dungeons and Dragons and I don't care who knows it.
T F Sometimes I think that I'm being followed.
T F I am bisexual.
T F In the last year I have relied mostly on tips for an income.
T F I am, or have been, a vegetarian.
T F I have considered legally changing my name to "Star."
T F I didn't date in high school.
T F I have never described myself with the phrase "people person."
T F I am reading this on a bus.
Did you answer "True" to 10 or more? Quit school and/or your job immediately and embark on a life of creative whimsy and excess. You might consider coloring your hair red or blue. Artists often get along well with punks, junkies and musicians. If you answered "True" to less than 10, congratulations--you're artism- free. But be warned--sometimes it skips a generation.