Am I Omniscient?
Many people sometimes wonder if they are omniscient. While this sort of self-examination was, for many years, thought to be a symptom of sociopathic tendencies, modern science has determined it to be merely a harmless manifestation of our go-go megalomaniac culture. Want to claim the omniscient moniker? Just complete this simple "True-False" quiz and find out if you qualify. Good luck!
T F I once dated someone who I knew would break my heart, and he/she did.
T F Sometimes when my phone rings, I know who's calling before I pick it up.
T F When I hear a car alarm going off I don't worry about it, because I'm sure it's nothing.
T F I know with every fiber of my being that Head Over Heels is a bad movie, and I haven't even seen it.
T F I have never used the phrase "A penny for your thoughts."
T F I know where Carmen Sandiego is.
T F When I was a kid I used to pretend that I was God.
T F I always know who the murderer is on Law & Order.
T F I know what you're thinking.
T F I have been known to pass a test without even studying for it.
T F People who oppose me are wrong.
T F Sometimes my eyes roll back without my meaning them to.
T F Once I applied for a job I knew I wouldn't get, and I didn't get it.
T F I knew Tom and Nicole were going to get separated before it was even announced..
T F Sometimes I narrate the world around me in third person.
T F No one knows you like I do.
Did you answer "True" to more than 10 questions above? Congratulations, you may be omniscient! Omniscient folk make fine novelists, gurus, psychic friends, and gods. They get along well with yes-men, biographers, and Mia Farrow. The omniscient are notoriously bad at relationships, as their particular gift may lead to feelings of paranoia in their partner. If you have scored in the omniscient range on this quiz, please seek counseling. And remember, if you have to ask whether you're omniscient, you probably aren't.