kalah allen

Dear middle-aged man preparing to board the same flight as me out of PDX: Yes, there are rather attractive and large tattoos covering my chest, neck, and nearly 80 percent of the rest of my body, which you cannot see, though you are trying like hell to see through my clothes. Yes, they hurt. Yes, they mean something, but simply having them within your eyeshot does not make them any of your business. And by the way, YOU'RE STARING AT MY CHEST! And dear hip near-retiree working the cash register at New Seasons, dear small-time business exec who wants to tell his frat-grad pals he was ballsy enough to chat up the tattooed girl, dear every lame, insecure Portland male who's decided myself and any of my fellow heavily tattooed female comrades appear approachable, trust me... WE DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT OUR TATTOOS! Seriously, we appreciate that you think they're beautiful and want to reassure us that we still have a place in your "normal" society, but maybe you want to consider the fact that breaking from your colorless and anonymous society is exactly the reason we get tattooed. So stop trying to include us, and stop staring at our chests. We haven't opted to relinquish any of the common niceties afforded respectable females worldwide, simply because we're tattooed.—Anonymous