THE SUBWAYS, FIST FITE
(Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside) Oh, man. The Subways! Long time since I heard that name! I remember I used to tell Ryan he had to listen to them, but he was always too busy getting all broody over Marissa. Don't ask me, man-he was always rocking to Journey, like they had anything on Jem or Keane or Rooney! But yeah, last summer the Subways came through and played the Bait Shop. I went alone, but c'mon-ever since Ryan moved to Berkeley with Taylor, and ever since Summer "reassessed things" and disappeared into thin air with that dude who looks like Anakin Skywalker, it's not like the ol' iCal has been overflowing, right? Anyway, I've seen better crowds at the Bait Shop. When I walked in, I was all, "Whoa, is this the Bait Shop or the Fortress of Solitude?" The Subways, who were the only other people there, didn't think that was very funny. I wish Alex still worked there-she always thought I was pretty funny. But now she's gone, too. Just like everybody else... Sometimes, when I'm trying to fall asleep, I whisper into Captain Oats' ear how lonely I am. SETH COHEN