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Heshers the world over had their buzzes majorly harshed when the American Carnage Tour—Slayer, Megadeth, Testament—was postponed when Tom Araya threw out his back while opening a bottle of merlot disemboweling a demon with his bare hands. Well, good news. The Carnage is back on.

The tour fires back up this Summer and the Portland date was been moved from the Rose Garden (too many injuries there as is) to the Washington County Fairgrounds, with a new date of September 4th. That's enough time for Araya to rest, but not Rust in Peace.

Get it? Get it? Oh come, on, that's the best metal joke you will read at 7:28 am.