Congrats to the vastly superior Willamette Week ping pong squad, who demolished our weak-willed Mercury team last night at the Holocene Ping Pong Pandemonium event. The eventual winner was the Sleater-Kinney team (not even a band, it should not count), who defeated Team Starfucker in the final match. Congrats to everyone involved—except us, we suck—and host Kaia Wilson.