That woman is gorgeous. No, not J-Lo. The one next to her.
  • That woman is gorgeous. No, not J-Lo. The one next to her.

Fox's announcement today reassured millions of my least favorite Americans that, rather than succumbing to sweet, merciful death, American Idol will live to see a tenth season and is in fact entering a desperate, moribund sort-of renaissance! Behold! Your new American Idol judges—Jennifer "Gigli" Lopez and Steven "My Daughter Married the Guy From Spacehog" Tyler will join surviving dawg Randy Jackson at the judges' booth. Let's hope that the new crew can impart some knowledge on the kids, and maybe teach them some new moves as well... Like these!