All told, I would call Showgirls the Musical an unqualified mess. But Showgirls the movie is so unbelievably bad that any respectable adaptation of it should also be kind of awful. By this metric, Showgirls the Musical succeeds in the way Lifetime’s original biopic about Anna Nicole Smith succeeded: by being so bad it was perfect, with low production values, over-the-top dialogue, and caricature-bad casting. You have to be true to your source material, and in the case of Showgirls, that material is a high kick of unmitigated dreck. Any loyal adaptation should be too. MEGAN BURBANK