I’ll admit to a twinge of trepidation when I heard Church was making a “sweet” burger: Since I consume 99 percent of my sugar in the form of table wine, I don’t have a ton of room in my life for dessert foods. Happily, the Figgy Smalls is far more complex than merely sweet: Ground chuck is given strong character with the addition of a remarkable housemade fig and jalapeño jam, which finds a perfect balance of sweet-and-spicy savoriness. Much like a dessert, though, indulgence is the name of the game here, with a healthy smear of double cream brie and butter-toasted almonds, all on a Grand Central potato bun. The concoction takes its inspiration from bacon-wrapped figs, and it’s one of the most inventive takes on the burger you’re likely to find, this week or ever. Plus, the Church staff is ready for those who’ll come knocking with ravenous curiosity, making the odd but charming promise that each burger will be served up by “two guys wearing shade-less sunglasses.” Apparently, it’s a thing. MARJORIE SKINNER

The Portland Mercury’s Burger Week—AKA the best week of your life—runs from Aug 8-13. Feast on amazing $5 burgers at 35 restaurants… and while you’re at it, we challenge you to donate $5 to Oregon Food Bank for every burger you eat!

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