13th Annual Hot Dog Eating Contest
You won't win the Zach's Shack Hot Dog Eating Contest. You won't even place. But you don't enter the thing for victory. No, you're plunking down $10 to gorge yourself on entrails for 10 minutes because life can't always be pleasant and beautiful. It needs pain. It yearns for nausea. (To be fair, you can get those same sensations from the safety of the audience.) DIRK VANDERHART