For every pop star feud as surreal and theatrical as Blur vs. Oasis, Biggie vs. Tupac, or Morrissey vs. Robert Smith, there's a rivalry as profoundly dumb and calculated as the one that occurred between Mushroomhead and Slipknot during the golden era of nü-metal. (That might have been the stupidest sentence I've ever written.) It seems like nobody can really determine what the conflict was, except for the fact that both bands embodied a similar "evil clown" aesthetic and that Mushroomhead apparently "existed first" though were less popular (which makes sense—they're musically inferior and possess a significantly stupider wardrobe, if that's even possible). The hilariously imbecilic refrain to the group's latest single "Qwerty" is "fuck you, I had a bad day," a line that singlehandedly encapsulates all that is awful and adolescent about this genre of music. To say the least, they never had shit on Slipknot. MORGAN TROPER