Since you never visit Grandma anymore after dumping her in that scary nursing home, it looks like the Crystal Ballroom is the only elderly friend you have left. Celebrate their 96th year of dancing on air with this massive birthday spectacular that will stretch over all three floors. Unlike Grandma’s birthday, this one won’t cost you a dime. Sorry, Nana.
1332 W Burnside, Portland, OR 97209
Hours: Doors usually open an hour before show time.