In terms of lyrical ghastliness, even Nickelback doesn't hold a candle to Relient K: "We should get jerseys, because we make a good team/But yours would look better than mine, because you're out of my league," the opening lyrics to the band's execrable 2007 smash hit "Must Have Done Something Right," contend for some of the most nauseatingly banal couplets ever penned. And let's not forget those insidious religious implications and the band's questionably titled, collectively authored dating book The Complex Infrastructure Known as the Female Mind—this is horrid, hollow, faux-profound high-school horseshit. Plenty of people (even within the "punk" community) are much too kind to this band, and it isn't just. They are next-level bad. MORGAN TROPER
1332 W Burnside, Portland, OR 97209
Hours: Doors usually open an hour before show time.