Buckcherry are headlining a show at the Wonder Ballroom. It's 2013. Either I'm out of touch or some promoter knows more than I do. Buckcherry are a band whose significance is absolutely confined to its time—and even then, that significance is ultimately negligible. Buckcherry are barely deserving of a footnote. They make Nickelback look like Aerosmith, and Aerosmith look like the Rolling Stones. I feel embarrassed just typing their name. The group's most enduring hit, "Crazy Bitch," is so wantonly misogynistic it would make Kid Rock blush. They embody the distilled evil of corporate rock; they're an artifact belonging to an age (the '00s) when subversive rock 'n' roll was marginalized to the point of being a nonentity, and where, in retrospect, bands like the White Stripes and Franz Ferdinand were lauded only because they weren't as bad as... well, Buckcherry. So, on the off-chance you were even considering it, please do anything with your night other than go see Buckcherry. MORGAN TROPER
128 NE Russell, Portland, OR 97212
Hours: Ballroom open for events only, Cafe open: Tues-Sat 5 pm-"late"