ROMANTIC DATE NIGHT #1: “A FROLICK IN FEBRUARY”
This year’s gift auction offers up not one, not two, but THREE spectacular date packages for the Casanova lookin’ to woo! Bid highest on this first one and you and your lover’ll be heating up a cool night in February with two tickets to the Oregon Ballet’s Winter Program (runs Feb 18-19, 24-25)! ‘Course, you can’t take in dance on an empty stomach, which is why a $50 dining spree at classy Il Piatto (2348 SE Ankeny) is also included, plus free stylish transportation in the deluxe human-powered vehicle at Rose Pedals Pedicab (421-RIDE)!
ROMANTIC DATE NIGHT #2: “MUSIC IS THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE”
Get some culture with your canoodling via incredible date package #2, which offers up two tickets to any of the Oregon Symphony’s “Sundays at Two”, plus $50 to blow at the delicious Slow Bar (533 SE Grand). Get dinner there, and you should have enough left over to return after the concert for a nightcap. But don’t get too drunk. You still have some love-makin’ to do with a night at the Jupiter Hotel (800 E Burnside)! Yowza!
ROMANTIC DATE NIGHT #3: “LOOKIN’ GOOD FOR YOUR LOVER”
Hey, lover, you might just get naked on your date tonight, so clean up that bush! Date package #3 offers a creative bikini wax from Bare (3525 SE Belmont)—that’s a $70 value, folks—plus $50 to blow at tasty coffee/hookah house the Pied Cow (3244 SE Belmont). And just in case, you know, things don’t work out, we’re throwing in a Mercury Lovelab personals account so you can do it all again. The account is good for three months!
“DAMAGE AND REPAIR” PUB CRAWL
Ready for the time of your life!? Win this auction, grab a friend, and spend $40 getting tipsy at the comfy Goose Hollow Inn (1927 SW Jefferson). Feel good? You’ll feel even better once you realize you’ve also got $50 to spend at the Jax (826 SW 2nd)! Don’t overdo it because you also have $60 to spend at the New Old Lompoc (1616 NW 23rd)! Worried about the next day? Don’t be, party-pooper—because after your debaucherous pub crawl, you and your friend will each get a naturopathic exam, courtesy of Nature Cures Clinic (1020 SW Taylor, #330), to help you recover!
FUN IN SEATTLE PACKAGE
Need a break from Portland? Salvation is only 173 miles away, in good ol' Seattle. The good folks at the hip, modern Ace Hotel—in Belltown, one of Seattle's most happening 'hoods—will put you and a guest up for two nights. Spend your days galavanting about town, visiting the spiffy new Science Fiction Museum and the swell Seattle Art Museum. Then, stuff your face at the always-delicious Cyclops. Back home, reminisce about your Seattle retreat, as the Stranger—the Mercury's sister paper—arrives at your home every week for a full year!
ROLLER BOOGIE FUN PACK
Yes, you saw the kickass Rose City Rollers (www.rosecityrollers.com) debut bout a few months ago, but did you go back to the locker room after the battles had subsided? Of course not… but now you can—the Rose City Rollers gift pack includes a one-year season ticket for two to all the Rollers’ bouts, a trip to the locker room post-bout (not in a pervy way), and two kickass RCR T-shirts. Then—take nine of your best friends to the largest skating rink in the Northwest, Oaks Park (1899 SE Oaks Park Way) for free skating with two free family passes! Skate or die!
STRIP CLUB TOUR WITH VIVA LAS VEGAS
Not only does this prize include $50 to Fantasy Video (3137 NE Sandy, 6440 SW Coronado, 8445 SE McLoughlin, SW 15th & Burnside, 10720 SW Beaverton-Hillsdale, and 3714 SE Powell), which you could do all sorts of naughty things with, it also includes a penis dildo kit (courtesy of Empire Labs, 1001 SE Water, #217)! Which means you can make a dildo in the shape of, say, your boyfriend's penis (so you'll always get a piece of him). But that's not all! You'll also get a tour of local strip clubs from the sexy dancer/writer/celeb Viva Las Vegas!
HAPPY NEW YEAR PACK
Before you know it, it’s gonna be New Year’s—which means you’ve got to find a way to hit 2006 in style. Win this auction, and you’ll get $50 with which to have to have your last meal of 2005 at the charming NW creperie Le Happy (1011 NW 16th). And as soon as you’re done there, you and your dining partner can hit the Schnitzer (1037 SW Broadway) to catch Pink Martini’s late show on New Year’s Eve , which’ll usher in 2006 in just about the best way imaginable!
“MAKE THE MUSIC, PLAY THE MUSIC” GIFT PACK
Cement your reign as Portland’s coolest scenester and brush up on your musical skillz with two professional music lessons from Amanda Kelly (1235 SE Division, Suite 111, 775-9647) who will teach you the ins and outs of being a better professional musician. PLUS! 25 minutes of YOUR favorite music in the world will be given airtime on the cooler than cool The Bottom 40 on 94.7 FM, hosted by Greg Glover (Sundays, 8-10 pm; certain restrictions apply)! WOW! You’re just like Dr. Johnny Fever from WKRP in Cincinnati! (restrictions)
SING WITH THE MERCURY KARAOKE KREW
The Mercury Karaoke Krew is world-renown for rocking the party HARD on the karaoke stage. Now the winning bidder can join this golden-throated crew for a blissful night of singing pleasure at one of their secret karaoke haunts! Sorry, singing Don McLean’s “American Pie” will not be tolerated.
VOODOO DOUGHNUTS FOR A YEAR!
A year’s worth of doughnuts is the perfect holiday gift. But a year’s worth of Voodoo Doughnuts (22 SW 3rd)—Portland’s nuttiest and yummiest purveyors of doughy treats—is the best present EVER! You’re bidding for a certificate that will get you a dozen creative, delicious doughnuts every month for an entire year—so if you were planning on making a resolution to drop some weight? Maybe concentrate on quitting cigarettes instead.