Ian Karmel - 50% more randomness than Alex Falcone, with half the calories!

I might be more open to this if it hadn't replaced ArtHole.

As for the redesign in general...OK, the print edition now looks more like a website. But why?

From the 711 in Tualatin (Graveyard shift) I salute you, sir. One Ms. Leek forwarded me this and I'm so glad she did.

Oh, and the microscopic font for Ian's piece and I, Anonymous couldn't state more clearly "If you're older than 27, don't even try reading this."

What causes me to have so many calories?

Also, dig that, Karmel! Now you're living in my shadow! HOW DOES IT TASTE MUTHAFUCKA??!?

Ian - thank you.this is great .I heard it - and admired.Now I can read it and weep :).
P.S. what about cab drivers driving drunk asses?

Alex, you REQUIRE twice the calories to appreciate, because you attempt to tie your humor to current events, or at least some version of reality. Ian pretty much freestyles it. But I'm talking something like six calories versus three, so don't make too big a deal of it.

Good enough for the first pitch, but where's the Portland-ish angle?

I did enjoy the bathwater joke, Bil. Without it this column would've been circling the drain. He might as well have pulled the plug. Unless he could add a new wrinkle.

"quibble" haha PLEASE continue to use this word for the rest of your life! haha