I thought the country's mission statement was "grab the goodies."

i read "The problem with the Bible is that it lacked foreskin." oh shit, that says sight! lol

Yes indeed; the nail got whacked by the appropriate implement right there.

Humans spend far too much time worrying about what other people do, should do, can't do, might do, won't do, etc. Spend more time in your own head, and if you can't then STFU and leave people alone.

This little book I have written in the Bronze Age and reinterpreted every couple years says that your sexual orientation is an "Abomination unto God". It also says the same thing about blended fabrics and has this quaint bit about stoning your prospective wife to death at her father's doorstep when you find out she's not a virgin. But we'll just pay attention to the parts that reinforce my own personal bigotry, if that's cool with you.

hey Ian i told you i would tell you when your column sucks. It sucks now. I sincerely don't know what your point is. You start off talking about this and then you move on to that but its not funny. Stay on point or be funny.

Honest opinion: Wolves are funny but not 500 words funny.

You're a serious mouth breather. You must get exhausted easily.

Hey I'mrightyerwrong, I can't tell if your comment is sarcastic or serious. Partly because this column is written with the focus entirely on homosexuality and gay rights, and partly because your comment blows balls. Unless for some reason you think this piece is about gay wolves. Either way, figure it out.

what do wolves have with gay rights? sides Karmel isnt ever saying hes gay. Seems like he should be a little gay so it would make sense why gay rights is so important. Just make sense is all we deserve. Or be funny.
Gallagher likes to mix politics with his "comedy" too :-)

There are TWO Gallaghers?! I'm not even Googling that. The prospect is too depressing.

God- you are so stupid
you crass gross slob learn some other words besides fuck ok its soooooo last tuesday
up your meds.

I'm with you, "I'mrightyerwrong" my column doesn't make any sense - now we just have to figure out a way to get the hundreds of people who WERE able to understand it to agree with us. Let me know if you have any ideas.

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

After Pantherskill's comments, I've decided to end the Portland As Fuck column. I'd like to apologize for my well-intentioned but ultimately harmful allegiance to last Tuesday.

@Satorical Yeah, the original Gallagher sold his act to his brother at some point, but then OG Gallagher decided he wanted to start doing his act again. Undaunted, Brother Gallagher kept doing the act and all of a sudden you have two Gallaghers.

@Ian - I can't believe I agree with anything I'mrightyerwrong says, but...yeah, you should totally be a little gay. Come on! Don't make it weird. Just be a little gay! It'll be fun!

And please don't end your column.