Let's talk about HUMP!, bay-bee!
HUMP! is the world-renowned, amateur dirty movie festival featuring a hot collection of 22 five-minute porn shorts submitted by enthusiastic amateurs, just like YOU! Created and curated by everyone’s favorite sex advice columnist, Dan Savage (crowd goes wild), and your favorite local alternative weekly newspaper (the Portland Mercury, natch), HUMP! is pornography by the people, for the people, and the Pacific Northwest’s number one source for organic, homegrown erotica.
In its 12th year, we still think HUMP! is the best fucking (literally) film festival in the universe. And the laughs, sex, dicks, kink, boats, loads of come, and cash prizes have only gotten bigger and better. So whether you’re a seasoned veteran or a virginal newbie, here’s how to do HUMP! right.
LEAVE YOUR JUDGMENT AT THE DOOR.
During HUMP! you will laugh, scream, be turned on, hide your eyes in shock, and absolutely learn something new. And that’s because this year’s lineup is going to show you things you never knew existed, never imagined could be sexy, and things you’d NEVER click on if you were looking to get off in the privacy of your own home. But what is life without variety? Be brave. The filmmakers were brave enough to have sex on film for you to watch. So why not be bold for 90 minutes and enjoy what they have to share?
Porn should represent everyone, and HUMP! is a porn democracy! It’s about the freedom to show off who and what you’re into without fear or hesitation. You don’t have to have fake boobs or a massive schlong to do it. We’ve got tons of spunk, spank, kink, style, grace, and a rainbow of hot sex to tickle every size, shape, gender, color, and preference. That being said, keep any negative, body/sex shaming garbage out of your mouth like a respectful adult!
DITCH THE PHONE.
We ask all audience members to turn their phones all the way off during HUMP! to insure the anonymity of our filmmakers. We don’t want any photos, videos, Snaps, or sound clips to leave the theater, because these filmmakers want to be porn stars for the weekend—not for the rest of their lives on the internet. So take a deep breath, and unplug for the screening. Your phone will still be there when the show is over. If we see your phone on during the show, we will take it from you and we won’t give it back. We’re that serious.
At HUMP! we encourage you to have a natural reaction to the things you see on the big screen. If something is hot, give it a whoop! If something is funny, laugh! If something is shocking (and let’s be real, some of it is), gasp! And if something really freaks you out, just leave the theater for five minutes. By the time you return, a new film will be playing to titillate you!
BE PREPARED TO SEE SOMEONE YOU KNOW.
This year we had nearly 100 film submissions from businessmen, fishermen, puppy players, puppeteers, animators, sewer dwelling radioactive turtles, mailmen, comedians, and more. We received globetrotting entries from as far away as Berlin and the UK, but the majority of the entries still come from our home in the good ol’ Pacific Northwest. That means if you live in Portland or Seattle, you very well might see someone you know! What should you do if you see your neighbor, friend, or co-worker on the HUMP! screen? Enjoy the momentary voyeurism and give them a knowing high-five next the time you see them!
NERVOUS? BRING A FRIEND. DRINK A DRINK.
At some point during the show you might need a pal to turn to and give a wide-eyed stare of shock, or sexy side-eye. It’s fine to go it alone, but HUMP! is best enjoyed in a group and slightly (repeat: SLIGHTLY) lubricated—so grab your squad and a drink!
PERV OUT (APPROPRIATELY).
If watching porn in a theater surrounded by hundreds of strangers seems a little pervy—that’s because it is. But it’s also fun! And it’s good for building a sex-positive society! So enjoy the unique experience.
KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN.
If you’re wondering if these films were made especially for your humping eyeballs and this festival, many of them were. So be on the lookout for this year’s extra credit items: a “Make America Great Again” hat (we encouraged filmmakers to avoid giving any money to Donald Trump by making or buying a knockoff) and an accordion. Imagine the possibilities!
Put aside your election related angst and vote for your favorite films at the end of the screening. The winners will receive huge cash prizes awarded by audience ballot, and this year’s categories and prize packages are:
Jury Award (chosen by those who curated HUMP!): $1,000
Best Humor: $2,000 First Prize, $1,000 First Runner Up
Best Sex: $2,000 First Prize, $1,000 First Runner Up
Best Kink: $2,000 First Prize, $1,000 First Runner Up
Best in Show:$5,000 Grand Prize
JUST STFU AND DO IT ALREADY.
HUMP! is porn for women. It’s porn for men. It’s LGBTQIA and straight. It’s porn for cis and trans, kinky and vanilla, big and small. COME ONE, COME ALL! HUMP! IS PORN FOR EVERYONE. We know you’ll love this year’s lineup as much as we do. So get your tickets now at humpfilmfest.com before they sell out! Now here’s a sneaky peek at the films you’ll be seeing at the 2016 edition of HUMP!
The Films of HUMP!