Dear Mercury staff:

I usually love the Merc's covers, but this week's is just plain lazy. What exactly were you going for?

The whole scheme is dumb, uninspired and not even slightly as clever as you thought it was. Yes, there are two people in various poses of mock excitement of the highest irony. Wow! I want to be as hip as they are!

I'm getting indigestion now... Wait, I just barfed out the banal shit you fed me. I feel much better now.

Anyway, the cover certainly doesn't make me want to contribute to your auction, so I won't.

Do better next time and stop being lame.

--CrankyDude