Kelly, great article, but you come to Portland and you don't go to the vegan strip bar! WTF? And you don't choose a Portlander for this week's Drink of the Week? WTF?

*Drunk of the Week.

The Safari Club with the real taxidermy is out in Estacada. Despite the similarity in name it is NOT a strip joint, but they do pour strong drinks.
http://www.legendarysafariclub.com/

Next time you come to Portland, please allow me to take you on a strip club tour. I've danced here for years, and I can tell you that you missed some super clubs and naked ladies that could have made your tour even better. Love, Rocket http://www.facebook.com/rocketisrad

Mary's is disgusting, and I've been twice and it's been relatively empty.

If this is a feature article, why not go into a *tad* more detail about each place?

I work at Acropolis and I know the dancer you are speaking of. She is a great dancer and works really hard work 5 days a week, 2 to 3 shifts a day! I know her age, not a minor BTW.
I know girls that work at all those clubs! We are HOT, talented, smart, strong, sexy and are loyal to our fellow stripper!!!! I would be so upset if I read this and was spoken of the way you made the strippers seem lazy and bored!! LAME LAME LAME review!!

@8: "The girl suddenly grabs a laminated sign that says, "Dancers Work for Tips" and shoves it in their faces, then she storms off the stage and returns with the youngest, skinniest bouncer I've ever seen."

Get it it now?

I would like to write one of these, but only hitting the strip clubs on Barbur Blvd. Just workin' my way slowly west until I'm in Tigard, at which point we all know we've gone too far.

Great stories!! Strippers, Santa, steaks, oh my! I love it! Mr. Kensington is one lucky guy to have a broad like you...

You came to Portland for the entire weekend and all you did was go to strip clubs? Wow, get a life. If you can't get real dates or see some of the other sights of the town, don't feel like you have to go pay women to ogle you or pretend to like you since you brought your dollar bills out.

There are a lot of "un-trashy" people in Portland who can fill you in on many great things to do and places to go see, and it would make for a much more interesting article. Strippers are sluts for rent and it really shouldn't take up your entire weekend...but it sounds like you have nothing better to do anyway.

yes, there are other things you could do, like sit around and be super-judgemental of folks, like supernovae. sluts for rent? classy.

It sounds as if you were either too drunk or too ignorant to truly experience and remember most of these clubs. The only rack you mentioned sitting at was at Sassy's, the last of your tour. It doesn't seem fair for shitty reviews to come out of your lack of interaction. If you're bored, then maybe you're boring, right? Come down again and do it proper. Get chummy with the dancers and really experience the awe, the wonder, the beauty and maybe you'll understand a bit more of why Portland is a fuckyeah! city. And FYI, there isn't a pole at Magic Garden for the dancer to ignore, and there is a one drink minimum. Pay attention Ms. Journalist and keep your notepad handy! And @supernovae - please, for all of humanity, stop being such a square. You probably need a lap dance more than anyone reading this page.

When I first moved to Portland I was shocked at the number of strip clubs infesting what was an otherwise beautiful city. As a woman with a high degree of self respect the mysoginistic frat boy mentality of the men in this town was appalling. Any time I'm in the vicinity of a strip club men seem to think it's a license to ogle and make crude suggestions. This article trivializes a sad exploitive industry catering to socially immature males who can't form normal relationships with women. Portland seems to have a very high number of these kind of men.
If people want to do something positive advocate for strong zoning laws to discourage the proliferation of these clubs.

Hahahaha.. michaeljordan, as if women who put their ass in men's faces for money is classy. It's just as classy as the men who have to "pay" women to touch them and titilate them. So, it doesn't sound as if you have any conception of the word classy.

Besides, if the women have self respect why don't they get a job that actually pays "Paroll Taxes" for god sakes. The trashy club owners employee the strippers as "contractors" so that they can skimp on their wages and skip out on paying taxes (Helloooo, IRS! hint, hint). If a stripper has a brain then she can probably find a job that pays better and doesn't necessitate catering her ass to pathetic men who can't get real women to touch them.

Yes, please, zoning laws can be improved to keep the trashy establishments that cater to trashy people confined to one area that we don't all have to walk by and see.

Why are people taking off their clothes? Its SO COLD right now! Shouldn't they wait until the hamster in my head stops turning its wheel of fortune? And what about that Newt Gingrich, huh? Is he a living doll or what! Man what I wouldn't pay to tip his rack!

Simple point: Feminists and neighborhood activists are right: Strip clubs invariably bring down neighborhoods because they attract douchebags who are loud, ill-mannered, can't handle their drink and sexually immature. Ask any strip club owner, mobbed up or not, where they live and whether they'd let their children go to a school near a condom-strewn parking lot and most will admit they wouldn't. Another point: Forcibly pimping women out is exploitation, but strip clubs are women exploiting men, period. You are using your looks to get money out of a sucker who secretly fantasizes he may wind up in bed with you. Hence "VIP" lounges and lap dances. The whole industry is based on cock-teasing and loneliness and anyone who tells you different is in denial. I have no problem with strip bars existing, but most -- though not all, Mary's is a great exception -- are shitty places staffed by rude assholes where ignoramuses actually like nu metal and dancers don't know how to dance but do know how to rifle through other dancers' purses for money and drugs when they're not looking for a towel to wipe down the pole. Now, would you please get out of the way, Venus is about to dance, and your pants-saggin' down ass is in my line of sight!

You come to Portland & only have the time to hit a handful of the most popular clubs? I hit that many in just a few hours. Real investigative work would've taken you to at least 30 strip clubs in 2 days-easy. And yes, we Portlanders already know all about these clubs. Tell us something we don't know. Courtney Love used to works at Mary's? We know, but it wasn't mentioned & that the Acrop is Marylin Mansons favorite strip club in Portland while Magic Gardens is Lemmy's. I hope this article was published in The Stranger where it might be relevant.

A night at the strip club once in a while can be great fun but being a titty bar connaisseur is pretty fucking pathetic. What a waste of money.

Wow, what embarrassing writing. Nothing interesting here, just timid shock-journalism. This had the potential to be so much better.

I fully agree with Quadrant's comment, it was spot on. As far as the article is concerned, Penthouse magazine already did the PDX strip-club article a couple of years ago, and did a much better and more thorough job. Glad you had fun here in Portland. Next time, hit Devil's Point around 1am.

Hey Feminitsche - Guys in Portland aren't any more sexist than guy anywhere else. There's just more of them. Population of this metro area is close to twice what it was 20 yrs. ago. What gender do you think prefers to move here? It's not exactly a destination for 20 something year old supermodels. It is a magnet for young guys looking for the recreation. Guys are a lot more tolerant of rainy gloomy weather, hot chicks aren't. Bottom line: Strip clubs are succesful here because the customers are here. Guys that can't find women because there aren't enough single women to supply them. Single bars are skewed toward single men so the guys end up in strip clubs at the end of the night. Simple as that.

I have nothing against strip clubs but this article was kind of boring.

What a boring/useless article, except for the trashy ones of Portland who actually attend/work these clubs.

Everyone knows that strip clubs are just dive type bars with slutty dancers ("artists" they like to describe themselves..whatever) who don't use their brain just their asses, and pathetic men who can't form a real life relationship with a woman so they go on these pretend jaunts as if a women shaking an ass in your face for money means you are special.

Even one of Portland's own club owners knows this, he was quoted in tits and sass saying this "the owner of Casa Diablo, dressed like an aging Juggalo in his custom-made “Casa Diablo 666 jersey, says, “Real men don’t buy girls… they just rent ‘em!”.

Exactly, sluts for rent and pathetic men. Please use your brains and grow up, don't stay trashy forever. There's a real world out there that needs smart people, and we know they aren't strippers. What was that url? ..rockethascrabs? haha

This article was boring. The comments are slightly more entertaining.

I love how ignorant people are about the reality of strip clubs. Most of the complaints sound like they were made by boring women who sit at home since they shat out a kid a couple years ago. Now they are jealous of anyone who still has a good time.

Oh, and to the cunt attempting to talk shit about Rocket. I'm sure that you go to comment boards because everyone else in your life is sick of hearing your bullshit opinions. We don't need them either. Stick them up your fat ugly ass.

haha, juancarlo, nice to hear that you love the strip clubs and all the trashiness that goes along with them, but really who cares?

My note about Rocket is well formed since everyone knows that strippers are usually paid for more than dancing and invariably have crabs, etc.

I'm not afraid to voice my opinions. I don't sit at home and don't have kids..I have a good job that I acquired after a good education and due to using my intelligence (unlike strippers). Although I do have very good measurements..so perhaps you're just reflecting your own "fat ugly ass" into comment boards. One is as one says.

PDX my dear, I'm glad that you have a nice ass. Mine is quite lovely as well.

Your argument that "everyone knows that strippers are usually paid for more than dancing and invariably have crabs, etc." is like saying that someone who smokes weed obviously shoots heroin and sucks off truckers for crack.

Maybe you've had a bad experience with strip clubs. True, some are shit holes full of dumb skanks. Others are gems full of bright young women and happy customers having the time of their lives. You owe yourself a trip to Devil's Point on a Friday night. Watch a fire dancer perform to Slayer and tell me that isn't art.

Or don't. I want my spot at the rack.

Trainwreck, look up some SLAPP laws and learn a little bit about free speech and technology.

I'm sorry for any comments I made about Rocket that apparently some took seriously. The opinion that strippers likely have STDs is foudned on the evidence of prostitution rings found in strip clubs, especially here in Portland. You can easily look up those news stories and investigations by the FBI, Police. The club owners and managers are usually sumbags who charge money for these prostitution "shows". It's terribly sad for the women who have to work there. Anyway, I never said that a specific stripper actually had a disease, just that it may be likely with the evidence pointing to the job in question. This is common knowledge.
Love, PDX

WOW am I missing something here. Wasn't this supposed to be a casual tongue in cheek article. How did it become the message board for the Portland Debate Team. LOL you people really need to relax and argue over things that might actually mean something.