Sex Mar 11, 2010 at 4:00 am

Portland's Sexiest People

Our 2010 Ode to Portland's Sexy Citizens

Marjorie Skinner
Photos by Jeff Luker
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Comments

1
Meh.

My avatar is sexier.
Bed Time! on March 10, 2010 at 8:12 PM Report this
2
Umm....really? That's the best you got?
Rip City Hustle on March 10, 2010 at 9:06 PM Report this
3
Your avatar proves you need to leave the house, and "the best" Portland has is tongue in cheek...duh. When they do an article about Portland's biggest haters, there you'll be.
on March 10, 2010 at 11:48 PM Report this
4
They're adorable! Where do I click to see them doing IT?
lisalisa on March 11, 2010 at 2:11 AM Report this
5
But...who ARE they? How did they get the most votes? It just says she's in school and he's a farmer - how did people know to write in their names? Did they campaign for votes or something?
Reymont on March 11, 2010 at 10:51 AM Report this
6
Would reading this article in the print version make more sense...this is just plain odd.
Jody_pdx on March 11, 2010 at 10:55 AM Report this
7
Kudos to both, but Matt Flagg is sexier by a mile.
portlandian on March 11, 2010 at 11:36 AM Report this
8
@ Reymont: We put the call out for submissions weeks in advance. Anyone could submit themselves or be submitted by someone else. You just had to know the person you were submitting well enough to at least provide us with enough information to contact them. There was no need for them to be locally famous or work in a high traffic location of Stumptown or anything, necessarily. And we selected them in-house. It was never put to a public vote (we can be cruel, maybe, but not that cruel).
Marjorie on March 11, 2010 at 2:31 PM Report this
9
This article makes me sad. I'm not sure why. But this is the sexiest Portland has to offer? Even without beer goggles, I see more talent at any random bar on a weekday night. I get the feeling that there weren't too many nominations.
Graham on March 11, 2010 at 3:10 PM Report this
10
Meh indeed, they are fairly un-ambitious personality-wise and not exactly *stunning* by any standards... fairly run-of-the-mill-average. But then again, can't go hurting the others with average looks' feelings. Oh, the celebration of boring.
on March 11, 2010 at 3:12 PM Report this
11
A lot of you are being stupid twats. This piece is touching on the irony of "real" beauty contests by holistically choosing finalists that embody many of Portland's finest attributes. One of those most important attributes (that some of you need to be reminded of) is just NOT GIVING A FLYING FUCK. So calm down. Personally, I'd bang the living daylights out of Nolan any day of the week, except Sunday. That's Jesus' day to bang.
PortlandHunny on March 11, 2010 at 9:46 PM Report this
13
If anybody can find a Highschool pic from back in the day of Kate, she used to be a huge fattie, but cheers to her for picking a better life of being fit. It proves that she cares enough about herself to want to be healthy. but the chubby pics are really quite amusing.
TheHundreds on March 12, 2010 at 9:53 AM Report this
14
Kate is super fine! Nolan is cute, too, but he looks sort of mean. Maybe it's the Bizarro Nolan facial-hair.
ROM on March 12, 2010 at 11:09 AM Report this
15
oh but the world is missing out. the girl nolan started this farm with, a sweet gal named brooke...now SHE Is a feast for the eyes.
maranda on March 12, 2010 at 11:21 AM Report this
16
the real sexiest girl in portland is no doubt a stripper...and the sexiest dude should play in a band and do yoga.
tw on March 12, 2010 at 3:53 PM Report this
17
Yeah...BORING. The Lille or Gilt ads are totally sexier. Shit even the Sapphire Hotel ads sometimes..
marblebones on March 13, 2010 at 8:05 PM Report this
18
of course they're both white hipsters.
on March 13, 2010 at 8:34 PM Report this
19
Isn't 'sexy' supposed to illicit thoughts of sex? Those people don't make me think of sex.
mollymaverick on March 14, 2010 at 8:52 AM Report this
20
I would imagine that 100% of the people people who complain about these two being less than hot are even less hot themselves, ugly or even fugly.
TSW on March 14, 2010 at 10:13 AM Report this
21
Typical ugly Portland hippy/hipster types.
luckybulldog13 on March 14, 2010 at 11:59 AM Report this
22
I don't get it
Bardo on March 14, 2010 at 6:30 PM Report this
23
Yeah, I don't get it either. "Kate and Nolan are sexy because they're healthy, natural, happy, and unpretentious" pretty much sums up everyone in Portland. This is just lazy writing. And it's not Luker's best work either.
Burtles on March 14, 2010 at 9:35 PM Report this
24
There was an underlying point to this which at least some of you are grasping. And yes, naturally they are a couple of white hipster/hippies (whatever..), which is hardly shocking considering the publication. Basically I see hundreds of people that resemble them every week...stupid little bearded guys, chicks with bobs and funny clothes-Ca c'est la vie, no? Either way I think they are representative of Portland (good or bad) and I think even one of them is ACTUALLY FROM HERE! No way! However "Burtles" your assertion that everyone in Portland "is healthy, natural, happy and UNPRETENTIOUS" is either one of the the most ironically funny statements of all time or you are confused. I would love to know what areas of our fair town you frequent(I pretty much know already), purely from a cultural anthropology standpoint of course.
on March 15, 2010 at 12:05 PM Report this
25
I would actually attribute the fact that he "looks mean" ROM, to a lack of oxygen to the brain and the unfortunate consequences. In other words he might be a little slow. Just saying.
on March 15, 2010 at 12:13 PM Report this
26
the article was not "pick the guy and the girl who are most representative of portland," it was portland's sexiest people. the "iest" part means the most sexy of all the fine people in town. yeah i'm talking to you showstopper, can you grasp that underlying point?
tw on March 15, 2010 at 2:08 PM Report this
27
@tw Damn right! #fail
Reymont on March 15, 2010 at 3:38 PM Report this
28
I'd rather be average on the outside than ugly on the inside.
Klucas on March 15, 2010 at 6:55 PM Report this
29
I think they are plenty sexy, but the booty girl on the Lille ad outshines everyone.
Demondog on March 16, 2010 at 8:35 AM Report this
30
@TheHundreds you're probably one of those people that use to think your shit didn't stink & now you got older & uglier & realized how successful kate got & needed to hate on her. it doesnt matter what she looked like in highschool cause now she is the sexiest in oregon & that probably makes you green with envy.

=]
vegwithvengence on March 16, 2010 at 3:19 PM Report this
31
They are cute enough but what is up with the old blanket, hiking boot, undie combo? That just makes me queasy and it’s not all that sexy.
on March 16, 2010 at 6:06 PM Report this
32
What's really sad is how many Portlanders probably DO think these mediocre hipsters are the very definition of "sexy".
Rip City Hustle on March 18, 2010 at 12:27 PM Report this
33
sexiest chicken ever!
fiona on March 20, 2010 at 6:06 PM Report this
34
This may be the Mercury's most pathetic moment.

But I guess, VOTE for Portlands MEDIOCREST Heptards! doesn't have the same ring...
Gerbils on March 22, 2010 at 11:47 AM Report this
35
@ thehundreds:

wow. a fattie, huh? but what about her personality? did you even know her? was she kind? passionate? funny? helpful? do you even know?

these are just two people who are being honored because someone thinks they're special, not because they are most likely to star in your masturbatory fantasies.

doesn't anyone remember the golden rule? does no one watch bambi anymore?

so... fuck you! AHS '98 biatch!
n^k on March 22, 2010 at 3:56 PM Report this
36
The cluephone is ringing. It's for you, n^k.

"PORTLAND'S SEXIEST" means they SHOULD be "most likely to star in your masturbatory fantasies". What part of the definition of "sexiest" do you not understand?
Rip City Hustle on March 23, 2010 at 2:23 AM Report this
37
cluephone? maybe you need to practice that hustle of yours on some scrabble yo.

grab a dictionary, pal. not only does sexy not require physical or sexual attractiveness, the definition implies subjectivity and does not exclude complete subjectivity.

i personally think knowing how to grow your own food and not being afraid to go after what you want is extremely sexy... and you probably think fake tits and bleached assholes are sexy. AND THAT'S OK.

but, it may be time for you to dial the ego down a bit and realize nobody really gives a shit whether you find these two sexy or not. they will shine on while you will be posting miserable half-baked insults within the life swallowing interweb. have fun!
n^k on March 23, 2010 at 4:20 AM Report this
38
They're so.....vanilla! Nothing spicy or kicky or lustful here at all! This is like saying the "Twilight" movies are the best porn.
ladymac73 on March 24, 2010 at 11:24 AM Report this
39
Man, who could win this game? Last years hairdresser and bartender got ripped to shreds and now their opposites are being torn new ones. You people would bitch no matter what. I applaud this years picks. The definition of sexy in Portland is so skewed that I think these two are refreshing. They both appear comfortable in their skin, they're doing "stuff", and I think "healthy, natural, happy" is the perfect embodiment of what sexy should be. Quit being dicks.
Unsticking on March 25, 2010 at 11:25 AM Report this
40
He looks like Jack White, and she looks like Parker Posey needing a sandwich. Have I stumbled into the 90s again? These people are average at best.
FormerPDXer on May 8, 2010 at 12:22 PM Report this
41
I agree with whoever said "Sexiest" makes the reader think the person is hot or, maybe, just maybe WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM. Now granted, my age means I could be both these kids' parents, but still, I can appreciate beauty in all ages and forms. Beauty, and attractiveness, yes. These two exude that, I guess. But "sexy"??? No. Not even close. These two people, as nice as they might be, do not make me salivate and want to rip my clothes off and have sex with them. And it would have been helpful if the Mercury had defined "sexy" a little differently. I don't define sexy as someone who is happy and exudes confidence and health. I define sex as someone I might want to have sex with. Duh. I'm just saying.
FormerPDXer on May 8, 2010 at 12:30 PM Report this
42
Nolan's not just cute. I was friends with him in college, and I can say that he's also a smart and creative risk-taker who's living out his ideals, and isn't afraid of hard work. That's pretty sexy...
on October 10, 2010 at 9:47 PM Report this
43
I met nolan. he is a little slow at best. but generally he can pass it off as bruting
on October 21, 2010 at 3:19 PM Report this

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