A BAD MOMS CHRISTMAS A sickening symptom of a decaying society.

When I got home from A Bad Moms Christmas, my boyfriend asked me what made the moms so bad. “THEY WERE FINE,” I said, in all caps, because I was mad. “THEY’RE JUST WOMEN TRYING TO LIVE. AND ANOTHER THING....” He nodded, because he gets it. He didn’t go with me to A Bad Moms Christmas because he was at home putting our daughter to bed while I was at a movie by myself on a Monday night, because most human parents enjoy time away from their children—even if that time is mostly spent being confused about why the Bad Moms movies are in any way subversive.

So, yeah. There’s a lot to unpack here.

To compound this misery, these bad moms are dealing with Christmas, as well as their own moms showing up for the holiday, which compels the characters, and the audience, to explore new levels of stress and guilt. How is this supposed to be fun? And what the hell is this phenomenal cast (Kristen Bell, Mila Kunis, Kathryn Hahn, Susan Sarandon, Cheryl Hines, and Christine effing Baranski) doing in a movie that encourages such self-loathing in women? It says something depressing about what we expect from women that the best character in this movie is played by Peter Gallagher and is a stupid man who barely even talks.

Here are a few more reasons I didn’t like this movie: Can you imagine a movie called A Bad Dads Christmas? I can’t! Because men who are dads enjoying themselves is in no way revolutionary and is a stupid plot point. Just like it is for women! Also! All the swearing seems so forced! This movie was written by men (*spits on ground*) and you can tell. Funny women with dirty mouths are a beautiful thing and I don’t know why none were asked to liven up this awkward script. We work twice as hard for our money and this movie is what we’re supposed to spend it on? PLEASE!*

*It is important to support films starring women, so I still encourage you to see this movie, even though we deserve a lot better.