Reading can be incredibly boring and time-consuming, so let's sum up my feelings in the first paragraph, shall we? You are—of course—extremely familiar with the directing team of Josh Gordon and Will Speck, right? Then you are also familiar with their most famous work before landing the Will Ferrell/Jon Heder figure skating flick Blades of Glory, and that was co-directing the Emerald Nuts "Exaggerating Dad" commercial for the 2005 Super Bowl. Okay, fine... you don't remember it. Because it's not a very funny commercial. (YouTube it if you don't believe me.) And though these guys only have one unmemorable national ad under their belt, here they are! Directing a major motion picture starring two of the most bankable comedians in Hollywood! And where am I? Sitting at my desk eating stale Rice Chex and fucking FUMING over the fucking injustice that occurs on a daily basis in this horribly un-fucking fair world.
Placing my overwhelming jealousy aside for a moment: In Blades of Glory, Ferrell and Heder play competing men's figure skaters with wildly different styles, who, after tying for a gold medal, whip each other's ass and get permanently barred from singles' competition. Pariahs in the sport, a former coach persuades them to return to figure skating—but as two guys skating in the pairs division?! Whaaaa??? LET THE HOMOPHOBIC HILARITY ENSUE!
To their credit, other than Ferrell wildly grimacing whenever he has to touch Heder's junk or smell his crotch, Gordon and Speck keep much of the obvious homo hatin' hijinx to a minimum—the bigger problem here is a complete lack of directorial guidance that leaves a brilliant cast floundering. Check out this lineup: Arrested Development's Will Arnett, SNL's Amy Poehler, The Office's Jenna Fischer, Rob Corddry, Andy Richter... yet with all that talent, only four jokes hit their target?
Blades of Glory is a frustrating film. When a joke works, it's all the more disappointing when you have to wait 20 minutes for the next one to come along. Comedians need direction, and someone to tell them when they aren't being funny. And that's a little much for a couple of guys with only a nut commercial under their belts.