Hey! Filmmakers! The deadline's a-nearin' to submit your film to Portland's annual short film and video festival, the Forest Film Fest--you have until April 15. This is your last warning--so if you're a filmmaker, get your ass in gear and check www.forestfilmfest.com for more info. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea Kickass submarine! Captain Nemo! Kirk Douglas! GIANT SQUID! Laurelhurst

After Midnight Yet another Italian film about cinema-obsession? Yeah, but this one ain't so bad. After a long-term crush on the girl who works at a fast food joint, Amanda (Francesca Inaudi), the shy night watchman at Torino's Cinema Museum, Martino (Giorgio Pasotti), finally commands her attention. True, this is no original story, but as a tribute to silent films (particularly Buster Keaton), After Midnight relies more on the characters' actions and expressions than their words; the film, unlike others with similar plots, never says too much. Besides, the magnificent interiors of the cinema museum and the dusky exteriors of Torino make for stunning, dreamy-yet-not-somnolent watching. (Will Gardner) Hollywood Theatre

Army of Darkness Listen up, you primitive screwheads! It's Sam Raimi's horror/comedy classic Army of Darkness, one of the coolest movies ever made. Bruce Campbell reprises his role as Ash from Evil Dead and Evil Dead 2--this time the unlucky S-Mart clerk gets sucked back in time, fights an army of the undead and gets some sugar from a medieval chick. Clinton Street Theater

Bad Education If Hitchcock's Vertigo collided head-on with a drag queen variety show, the brilliant wreckage would be Pedro Almodovar's Bad Education. (Ryan Dirks) Fox Tower 10

Beauty Shop The problem with movies like Beauty Shop is that they have no lasting effects on the viewer. So even though I just saw the movie like three days ago, I actually remember very little of it. In fact, I wonder if I saw it at all. This doesn't mean it was a bad film, because surprisingly it wasn't terrible. It's just that it'll sort of entertain you for that 100 minutes or whatever, and then you're back to where you were before seeing it. Beauty Shop is a lot like Barbershop, except all the roles are reversed. And, you know, they face their challenges, and together they see it through. And they do some hair while they're at it. (Megan Seling) Oak Grove 8 Theater , Lloyd Mall
, Movies on TV , Sherwood 10, Hilltop , Vancouver Plaza, Division Street , Century Eastport 16 , Century 16 Cedar Hills Crossing

Before Night Falls A political film centering on one man's loneliness, Before Night Falls tells the real-life story of Cuban writer Reynaldo Arenas--from his childhood in Cuba, to joining Fidel Castro's revolutionaries, to being persecuted for homosexuality. Fifth Avenue Cinemas

Broken Limbs & Playing with Poison You'd think movies with titles like these would be awesome. But while Broken Limbs sounds like a kickass movie, its full title is Broken Limbs: Apples, Agriculture, and the New American Farmer. SNOOZE! And as promising as Playing with Poison sounds, its really called Playing with Poison: Children and Pesticide Use. KER-SNORE! Such are the devious tricks of hippies, who are trying to trick you into going to their "Think Globally, Eat Locally" film fest. Fifth Avenue Cinemas

Buffalo Boy 15-year-old Kim (The Lu Le) is charged with herding the family's water buffaloes to the mountains. Meeting up with some fiercely independent, violent, and hard-drinkin' buffalo keepers, Kim has to decide whether to live as a nomad or stay true to his family.Guild

Charm School: Films and Videos by Nickey Robo Local filmmaker Nickey Robo presents a collection of short films on gender, feminism, radical politics, and the media... but with dancing! And cartoons! Sweet. Liberty Hall

Daughter of Keltoum 19-year-old Rallia (Cylia Malki), raised in Switzerland, goes looking for the mother who gave her up for adoption. Rallia wants to first ask her why she put her up for adoption, then kill her. Sounds like fun. Guild , Whitsell Auditorium

DiG! In DiG!, a completely engrossing documentary tracing the surreal connection between the Brian Jonestown Massacre and the Dandy Warhols, documentarian Ondi Timoner pieces together the scraps of a relationship fashioned in mutual respect, distrust, and jealously from over 1,000 hours of unbelievable archival footage. (Zac Pennington) Lola's Room

Downfall An epic film taking place in Hitler's Berlin bunker, in the last days before the end of the war and his suicide. Much like taking a short trip into one of the circles of Hell, it's a cement-filled world teeming with Nazis who know they have lost, who are getting drunk, planning their suicides, and painfully watching their Fuhrer descend further into failure, frailty, desperation, and rage. Although nightmarish, it's a fascinating, microscopic portrait of a mere snatch of WWII history, vividly depicting the bleakness of a ruined Berlin. (Marjorie Skinner) Fox Tower 10

Dust to Glory See review this issue. Cinema 21

Fever Pitch See review this issue. Regal Cinemas, etc.

Fuse Two years after their civil war, Serbs and Muslims try to get along in a small Bosnian village... all while preparing for a visit from Bill Clinton. Guild

The Future of Food I admit, I'm a sucker for conspiracy theories--but this shit is real! Because assholes like Dan Quayle, George Bushes I and II, John Ashcroft, and even the Food and Drug Administration are in cahoots with profoundly evil corporations like Monsanto, the company has never been required to test the safety of the genetically altered seeds or food they create. The Future of Food deals with all this, and it's profoundly horrifying. (Katie Shimer) Redwing Coffee & Bakery

Goto+Play Film Festival Running through April at PushDot Studio, the Goto+Play Film Festival is an art installation featuring wall-sized projections of animation and other types of work from motion graphic artists. 20 artists contribute to the promising-sounding installation, including Portland-area video artists. Plus, admission is free, which means you'll not only save money by checking this out (instead of, say, coughing up $10 to see Sahara), but you'll also feel all art-ified. PushDot Studio

Gunner Palace Documentary filmmaker Michael Tucker spent 10 months living in Iraq, embedded with 400 soldiers stationed at a bombed-out palace in Baghdad. His resultant film, Gunner Palace, is challenging, funny, and poignant--and one of the best documentaries to come out of the war in Iraq. (Alison Hallett) Hollywood Theatre

Hell's Angels See "My, What A Busy Week!" on page 19. Hollywood Theatre

Hollow City A young orphan runs away from a missionary nun and begins to explore the large, unwelcoming city of Luanda, the capitol of Angola. Guild

In My Country Apartheid is over, and instead of giving the chair to all those white bastards who ran the oppressive system, Nelson Mandela's government holds "truth trials," where the white perpetrators of brutality must face their black victims in order to be granted political amnesty. Covering the hearings for The Washington Post is Langston Whitfield (Samuel L. Jackson), who can't forgive his own country's racist past. But Whitfield's attitude changes as he enters the psyche of a madman--a former colonel of the old regime--and falls in love with an Afrikaner (Juliette Binoche) who's overcome with guilt for the crimes against humanity her white skin has come to represent. The well-depicted struggle of South Africans--white and black--to confront their roles in 30 years of violence makes In My Country a moving history lesson. (Andrea Chalupa) Fox Tower 10

Jackpot: Five Minutes to Live Starring Johnny Cash & Friday Night Live Television Performances (featuring the Cars & Suicide) The final offering of the Jackpot Records Film Fest is a hodgepodge of the bizarre, with Johnny Cash's Five Minutes to Live (whose impossible premise the press release best summarizes as follows: "the Man in Black [using] a six-year-old Ron Howard as a human shield") and Friday Night Live, which compiles live performances from 1979's painfully mismatched Cars/Suicide tour. (Zac Pennington) Hollywood Theatre

Jackpot: Garage/Psychedelic Underground Though the specific details of Thursday night's Garage/Psychedelic Underground screening are being closely guarded, it's clearly the crown jewel of the Jackpot Records Film Fest--featuring over 40 rare clips from some of Garage and Psych's most influential and obscure. Hollywood Theatre

Kabala Sadly, this film is not about red string bracelets, Ashton Kutcher, Madonna, or Britney Spears. Instead, it's about some West African village in drought, or something. Hey, maybe they should call Ashton! He could totally bring them some water! Guild

The Last Days Five Jewish Hungarians tell their stories from the Holocuast. Rene Firestone, who survived Auschwitz and is featured in this Oscar-winning documentary, will be on hand to lead a discussion following the film. Lewis & Clark College

Libertarian Party Video Night For sheer novelty value, it's hard to beat watching a video called "Voter's Choice" with members of the Libertarian Party of Multnomah County. Especially when said viewing takes place at a Village Inn restaurant. Village Inn

Lili's Apron When Lili (Paula Ituriza) and Ramón (Luis Ziembrowsky) lose their jobs, Ramón's forced to go all Mrs. Doubtfire and be a live-in maid for a wealthy family. Guild

Melinda and Melinda Woody Allen's latest, has a promising premise: Two playwrights (Larry Pine and Wallace Shawn) discuss the situation of Melinda (Radha Mitchell), an unstable, travel-worn woman who unexpectedly arrives at her friends' Upper East Side apartment. One playwright envisions Melinda's background as a tragedy, while the other invents a comedy. Allen looks at both, and the film delineates the playwrights' respective takes, essentially making two films. Since he's been toying with comedies and tragedies for decades, Allen here has the perfect chance to capitalize on his proficiency in both genres. But while Melinda and Melinda is theoretically two Allen films for the price of one, its sum is far less than even one of Allen's past masterpieces. (Will Gardner) Fox Tower 10

Millions The last thing one would expect from the director of Trainspotting and 28 Days Later is a warm family film, but Danny Boyle's tale of two young brothers (Alexander Nathan Etel and Lewis Owen McGibbon) who find a duffel bag stuffed with cash is remarkably enjoyable. (Erik Henriksen) Fox Tower 10 , City Center 12

Nobody Knows Nobody Knows is a simple and true story: Keiko is a self-centered party girl who (oops!) happens to be a mother to four children. Mysteriously absent for weeks on end, she leaves her oldest son in charge. Had an hour been lopped off the film's three-hour running time, Nobody Knows would be decently engaging. As it is, I couldn't make it through the whole film. (Phil Busse) Hollywood Theatre

Paper Moon Nobody really remembers Paper Moon, but everybody remembers the chaotic shit surrounding it--namely, anything having to do with Tatum O'Neal, who (a) won an Oscar at the age of 10 for this film, (b) hates her dad/co-star, Ryan, (c) hates her ex-husband/tennis pro John McEnroe, and (d) dated Michael Jackson as a teenager. See? Isn't that stuff way more interesting than some movie about a con man and some kid?Pix Patisserie

Peripheral Produce/Audio Dregs Fundraiser See "My, What A Busy Week!" on pg. 19. Holocene

Sahara See review this issue. Regal Cinemas, etc.

Savage Capitalism A Brazillian film in which a reporter discovers a plan to mine in Brazil. Ecological issues, indigenous peoples, and high drama soon ensue. PSU Smith Memorial Union

Schultze Gets the Blues Gently funny, this film is full of the sort of geriatric humor that ensues from putting a fat old German guy in an unfamiliar environment. (Marjorie Skinner) Fox Tower 10

Sin City A brilliantly creative, enormously cool piece of pop art. Based on Frank Miller's dark, pulpy, neo-noir graphic novels, and co-directed by Miller and action master Robert Rodriguez, the film isn't flawless (it's unerringly faithful to the comic, and at times, Rodriguez and Miller unintentionally demonstrate that what works in literature doesn't always work in cinema), but what Sin City gets right, it gets really fucking right. (Erik Henriksen) Regal Cinemas, etc.

Student Film Screening Students of the Northwest Film Center show their stuff. Old Town Pizza

Today and Tomorrow A cautionary tale of an Argentinian would-be actress who turns to prostitution to pay the bills. Whitsell Auditorium

The Upside of Anger The Upside of Anger makes an all-too-blatant grab for the award-friendly glory road well plowed by the likes of American Beauty and Terms of Endearment, yet is nearly redeemed by a cast that wrings out every last bit of potential from the formula. After being abandoned by her husband, a brittle housewife (Joan Allen) strikes up a boozy relationship with the scruffy ex-jock next door (Kevin Costner). Since you're going to eventually end up seeing it anyway, best to shrug off the flailing stabs at higher meaning and enjoy it for what it gets right: Two fine, yet often neglected, actors teeing off on a series of telegraphed pitches and repeatedly knocking the damned cover off of it. (Andrew Wright) Regal Cinemas, etc.

Walk on Water If you only see one obscure foreign film this year, it should be this one. Walk On Water follows Eyal (Lior Ashkenazi), a member of the Israeli special forces who is ordered to find and kill an aging Nazi. Eyal befriends the Nazi's two adult grandchildren, Axel and Pia (Knut Berger and Caroline Peters), posing as a tour guide to gain their trust. Winsome Pia and hottie Axl are the two cutest darn Germans I've ever seen, and their guilelessness lies in stark contrast to guarded, emotionally crippled Eyal. The plot sacrifices some credibility to its message, but to good end, exploring both the Israeli construction of masculinity and the double-edged sword that is Israel and race. (Alison Hallett) Hollywood Theatre

What's a Human Anyway? The phases of manhood in Turkey are explored through the story of a 35-year-old man living in a cramped urban apartment building. Guild

The ballad of Jack and Rose Taking up the thin line between familial and romantic love, The Ballad of Jack and Rose is not nearly as creepy or sordid as one might think. Inhabiting an old commune, the handsome, rugged father (Daniel Day-Lewis) and angel-faced adolescent daughter (Camilla Belle) toil in post-hippie paradise while classic folk rock accompanies them on the soundtrack. The ballad is rich with incident--it's touching, anguished, disturbing, strange, and occasionally hilarious. (Marjorie Skinner) Fox Tower 10

Born Into Brothels Rare is the documentary that feels too short, but this wrenching look at kids growing up within the squalid red-light sector of India begs for a more detailed exploration. Filmed in an arresting mix of handheld video and Kodachrome stills, the film follows the efforts of co-director/photographer Zana Briski to save the children of Calcutta's sex workers, initially by encouraging their photographic skills, then by navigating through unbelievable levels of bureaucratic quicksand. Briski's struggle is worthy of sainthood, but her resulting document, after an absolutely engrossing first reel, follows a slightly frustrating route. Unintentionally or not, as she concentrates increasingly on getting passports and HIV tests processed, the focus shifts to a more conventional individual vs. the system story, and away from the fairly miraculous day-to-day existence of the kids, where it feels like it belongs. (Andrew Wright) Fox Tower 10