A review should give a reader insight as to flaws/successes in the film, not ramble on with banal chitter-chatter.

Try and remain topical, please.

I will respectfully disagree. Unless otherwise indicated, it's completely safe to assume that this is like every other dumb slasher ever made.

Actually I paid $10 to see this last night, and it's everything I wanted it to be. All the scary movie rules are followed. Sex, drugs, boobs, blood.