Walking Tall

Dir. Bray

Opens Fri April 2

Various Theaters

What does a person want from an action movie starring the Rock? Well, if you're me, you want two things: 1) the Rock to walk around with his shirt off and 2) the Rock to beat the living Christ out of a bunch of bad guys. Sure, a love interest is fine, and plot is good, but both are for the most part unnecessary. It's the shirtless beat downs I'm after.

According to my relatively simple criteria for a good Rock action movie, then, Walking Tall completely sucks. The Rock takes his shirt off only one time--he looks great, by the way--and participates in roughly four fights, nearly getting his ass kicked twice. In short, the Rock is a wimp.

Really, though, it's not the Rock's fault. It's the fault of the four boring script writers, and the boring direction of Kevin Bray--whose biggest claims to fame are All About the Benjamins and Savage Garden: Superstars and Cannonballs; obviously Bray is no action movie wizard.

While Walking Tall is seriously only an hour and 10 minutes long, it seems like an eternity. Why? Because Bray spends tons of time failing to explain the plot, which is based on a true story about a small town Sheriff who used renegade practices to run corrupt villains out of town.

Here, I'll explain it in three sentences. The Rock is an army sergeant. He comes home from duty to find the town's precious saw mill closed and in its stead a casino. An entirely evil childhood nemesis of the Rock runs the casino and steals all the locals' money with rigged games, while also selling crystal meth to their kids. The people are sad. The Rock steps in to clean up the town. Okay, that was four sentences. But here it is in short... this movie has way too much blabbing and not enough stabbing.