THURSDAY, AUGUST 25

8:00 WB SMALLVILLE
Clark is all about his new super-powered dog—until he has to feed him and clean up his super-powered poop!

10:00 FX STARVED
Sam finally hooks up with his TV commercial crush, but she likes Billie instead! Ouch!

FRIDAY, AUGUST 26

8:00 A&E CHILD STARS II
Mary-Kate and Ashley, Brooke Shields, and that girl who played "Blossom" reflect on growing up in Hollywood.

10:00 SCIFI BATTLESTAR GALACTICA
Adama joins President Roslyn on Kobol to help kick those Cylons right in the can!

SATURDAY, AUGUST 27

9:00 SCIFI PTERODACTYL—Movie
(2005) In this horror cheese-fest, commandos take on an army of eye-pecking dino-birds!

SUNDAY, AUGUST 28

8:00 NBC EAGLES FAREWELL TOUR 1
Like herpes, this classic rock band just keeps coming back for more.

8:00 MTV 2005 MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS
Supposedly celebrating the best music videos in the world—so why do they keep ignoring Kajagoogoo?

MONDAY, AUGUST 29

8:00 FOX PRISON BREAK
Debut! Brainiac little brother tries to break out his incarcerated sibling in the buzziest show of the new fall season!

10:30 FX IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA
When Charlie gets diagnosed with cancer, his pals use this as an opportunity to pick up chicks.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 30

9:00 NBC TOMMY LEE GOES TO COLLEGE
After finding college fraternities not to his liking, Tommy starts the most disgusting frat ever!

10:30 COM STELLA
Horribly depressed, the boys turn to psychotherapy for help.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 31

8:00 FAM DIRTY DANCING—Movie
(1987) Celebrate "National Patrick Swayze Day" with this time-honored classic of dancing and statutory rape.

9:00 SPIKE POINT BREAK—Movie
(1991) "National Patrick Swayze Day" continues with one of Swayze's finest works, that's like, "100 percent pure adrenaline!"