THURSDAY, APRIL 13
9:00 FOX THE O.C.
Ryan hooks it up with one of the waitresses from his mom's café! That's right... kiss his grits!
9:30 NBC THE OFFICE
A painfully funny repeat wherein Michael awards the employees of Dunder-Mifflin at a ceremony entitled "The Dundies."
FRIDAY, APRIL 14
8:00 WB SURVIVAL OF THE RICHEST
When the rich kids have to work at a homeless shelter, they fear they may catch "poor cooties."
9:30 MTV2 WONDER SHOWZEN
Don't forget! This hilarious (and dirty!) parody of kids' shows is now in its offensive second season!
SATURDAY, APRIL 15
8:00 WB THE MESSENGER—Movie
(1999) Milla Jovovich stars as the sexiest Joan of Arc EVER! In fact, she makes ME see God!
11:30 NBC SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE
Lindsay Lohan hosts, and makes fun of drug use and bulimia. HAW! HILARIOUS!
SUNDAY, APRIL 16
8:00 NBC THE WEST WING
Washed-up co-stars from past West Wing episodes show up for Leo's funeral. Oh, hello ROB LOWE.
10:00 ABC WHAT ABOUT BRIAN
Debut! A single guy refuses to grow up. Hey, the networks have finally discovered "slackers."
MONDAY, APRIL 17
9:00 FOX 24
Martial law is still in effect, making it very difficult for Jack to kill terrorists after curfew.
TUESDAY, APRIL 18
8:00 WB GILMORE GIRLS
Zach and Lane's pre-wedding parties are ruined because of Stars Hollow's lack of sufficient prostitutes.
8:00 FOX AMERICAN IDOL
It's down to the final seven, which means all of us who have been bored crapless with this show can finally start watching.
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 19
8:00 ABC ALIAS
Yay! It's the two-hour return of Alias. (Oh, is that show still on the air?)
10:30 MTV TIARA GIRLS
Debut! A searing look into the world of beauty pageants (the only place where Vaseline is intended for teeth).