THURSDAY, AUGUST 9
9:00 NBC THE OFFICE
Michael and Jan reveal their relationship to the world with a little help from liquor.
9:00 SCIFI WHO WANTS TO BE A SUPERHERO?
Stan Lee pairs up the heroes to battle Dr. Dark. (Isn't he my proctologist?)
FRIDAY, AUGUST 10
9:00 SCIFI FLASH GORDON
Debut! The classic hero returns to save Earth from Ming the Merciless! (Isn't he my proctologist?)
SATURDAY, AUGUST 11
9:00 FOX REAL SOLITARY
A group of contestants are sent into solitary confinement to see who can go less crazy!
9:00 VH1 NY77: THE COOLEST YEAR IN HELL
A look back at 1977 in NYC, featuring the Mets, a heat wave, and everybody's favorite psycho, Son of Sam.
SUNDAY, AUGUST 12
9:00 SPIKE THE KILL POINT
Don't forget to check out this trashy violent piece of pulp fiction about a bank heist gone horribly wrong.
10:00 COMTHE FLAVOR FLAV ROAST
The former Public Enemy rapper is roasted by comedians. Every time a clock reference is made, you drink.
MONDAY, AUGUST 13
9:00 FOX HELL'S KITCHEN
Season finale! Chef Ramsay must choose between a crappy chef, and a marginally less crappy chef.
10:30 SHOW CALIFORNICATION
Debut! David "I used to be in The X-Files" Duchovny stars as a washed-up writer who has lots of sex.
TUESDAY, AUGUST 14
9:00 DSC DIRTY JOBS
Mike volunteers to count baby herons. Why is that "dirty"? Did we mention he'll be doing it on "Vomit Island"?
Patty's team of crafty lawyers preps their star witness in the twisty-turny legal thriller.
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 15
9:00 ABCNASCAR IN PRIMETIME
Debut! Tonight, an in-depth look at how many cans of Coors Light a hillbilly can drink while watching a car go round and round.
10:00 FX RESCUE ME
The Gavin family stages an intervention, which is like Keith Richards scolding an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.