THURSDAY, JUNE 8

8:30 MTV 2006 MTV MOVIE AWARDS

Far more relevant than the Academy Awards, plus it's hosted by Jessica Alba! (Pant! Pant! Woof! Ah-OOOH-GAH!)

10:00 NBC WINDFALL

Debut! Luke "90210" Perry hits the lottery, and discovers money can't buy happiness. Yeah, but it apparently buys hair plugs.

FRIDAY, JUNE 9

9:00 SCI FI DOCTOR WHO

Season Finale! This newest incarnation of the British import finishes its campy (and fun!) first season.

9:30 MTV2 WHERE MY DOGS AT?

Called the Midnight Cowboy of animated cartoons about dogs in Hollywood. I'm sold!

SATURDAY, JUNE 10

9:00 SCI BLACK HOLE—Movie

(2006) A botched science experiment creates an artificial black hole that threatens to suck up the world (that is, if leading man Judd Nelson doesn't suck it up first)!

SUNDAY, JUNE 11

9:00 HBO DEADWOOD

Season Premiere! The filthiest talkin' Western EVER gets even dirtier-like this season. Yee-HAW!

10:00 HBO ENTOURAGE

Season Premiere! Vince's Aquaman movie premieres—and somebody ends up smelling like fish.

MONDAY, JUNE 12

9:00 FOX HELL'S KITCHEN

Season Premiere! Chef Ramsay returns to hilariously torment another crew of wannabe cooks.

9:00 TNT THE CLOSER

Season Premiere! Check out the second season of this surprisingly likeable detective drama.

TUESDAY, JUNE 13

9:00 BRAVO KATHY GRIFFIN: MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST

Kathy learns that the road to fame should be re-titled "the road to humiliation."

10:00 CBS TUESDAY NIGHT BOOK CLUB

Debut! It's like Desperate Housewives except even more BORING.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 14

8:00 FOX SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE

The pack is thinned down from "the hilariously bad" to just "the bad."

10:00 ABC COMMANDER IN CHIEF

Series Finale! Geena Davis hangs up her crown as America's first woman president. (Maybe she should hang up the collagen implants as well?)