THURSDAY, OCTOBER 11
9:00 NBC THE OFFICE
Dunder Mifflin launches their new website, and Dwight vows to sell more paper than the internet.
10:00 FX IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA
Another episode showcasing this program's sensitivity entitled, "Dee Is Dating a Retarded Person."
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 12
10:00 LIF AMERICA'S PSYCHIC CHALLENGE
Four clairvoyants compete to see who is America's best. Wait... if they're psychics, shouldn't they already know who wins?
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 13
9:00 REAL SEARCH FOR THE NEXT ELVIRA
Debut! Mmmm... there really wasn't any need for the first one, now was there?
11:30 NBC SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE
Get out your denture cream, Grandpa! It's your fave bands from the last century: Bon Jovi and the Foo Fighters!
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 14
9:00 VH1 AMERICA'S MOST SMARTEST MODEL
The models are pushed to their intellectual limits when asked to name three American presidents.
WE GIRL MEETS COWBOY
Debut! Four lonely girls fight over one smelly cowboy. That sound you hear is feminism rolling over in her grave.
MONDAY, OCTOBER 15
9:30 ABC SAMANTHA WHO?
Debut! Amnesiac Samantha wakes up in a hospital without the slightest notion she used to be a raging beeyotch.
10:30 VH1 GOTTI'S WAY
Debut! Former Def Jam genius Irv Gotti battles his way back to the top of the record industry.
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 16
8:00 CW BEAUTY AND THE GEEK
The geeks get a makeover, which means a tub of hair gel and 50 squirts of AXE body spray.
When Sam asks for some time off from reaping souls, he gets sent on another stupid mission. Working for Satan sucks.
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 17
ABC PUSHING DAISIES
The gang settles on the best marketing idea yet: pies filled with antidepressants.
NBC BIONIC WOMAN
Jamie discovers the truth about her bionic lifespan, which gives her one more thing to nag about.