THURSDAY, OCTOBER 18
10:00 AMC MAD MEN
Season finale! If you missed this awesomely cool series, be sure to hit it up on DVD! It's addictive!
10:00 CBS VIVA LAUGHLIN
Debut! A semi-musical(?) about a free-spirited businessman who tries to open up a Nevada casino.
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 19
8:00 FOX NEXT GREAT AMERICAN BAND
Debut! America must weed through 12 crappy bands to decide which one is "best"—which sounds like a normal weekend to me.
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 20
8:00 MTV A SHOT AT LOVE WITH TILA TEQUILA
A bisexual internet star chooses between a group of girls and guys to decide which one she'd like to bone.
8:30 FAM E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL—MOVIE (1982)
A monster with a glowing finger spends way too much time with kids. This is a job for "To Catch a Predator!"
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 21
9:00 VH1 AMERICA'S MOST SMARTEST MODEL
The models must compete in the "Battle of the Bulge" (i.e., World War II trivia, and general knowledge about cellulite).
10:30 COM THE SARAH SILVERMAN PROGRAM
Sarah bets that it's easier to be a black person than a Jewish person. Sloooowly step away from the topic.
MONDAY, OCTOBER 22
9:00 NBC HEROES
A hero learns a mysterious woman (Veronica Mars' Kristen Bell) is following him! Woo-hoo!
10:30 MTV KAYA
Debut! A "scripted" show from MTV about the life of a young recording star. Hint: Keep your expectations LOW.
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 23
9:00 CW REAPER
Sam receives a copy of the contract his parents signed with the Devil—too bad it's in Latin!
10:00 FX DAMAGES
Season finale! Another series that's better to watch on DVD, because it's super twisty-turny!
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 24
8:00 ABC PUSHING DAISIES
Nick tries to discover whether a pilot who crashed his plane into a building committed suicide—or if he was a pal of Osama bin You-know-who.
10:00 ABC DIRTY SEXY MONEY
The twins throw separate b-day parties for themselves—costing a million each?!?