THURSDAY, OCTOBER 18

10:00 AMC MAD MEN

Season finale! If you missed this awesomely cool series, be sure to hit it up on DVD! It's addictive!

10:00 CBS VIVA LAUGHLIN

Debut! A semi-musical(?) about a free-spirited businessman who tries to open up a Nevada casino.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 19

8:00 FOX NEXT GREAT AMERICAN BAND

Debut! America must weed through 12 crappy bands to decide which one is "best"—which sounds like a normal weekend to me.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 20

8:00 MTV A SHOT AT LOVE WITH TILA TEQUILA

A bisexual internet star chooses between a group of girls and guys to decide which one she'd like to bone.

8:30 FAM E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL—MOVIE (1982)

A monster with a glowing finger spends way too much time with kids. This is a job for "To Catch a Predator!"

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 21

9:00 VH1 AMERICA'S MOST SMARTEST MODEL

The models must compete in the "Battle of the Bulge" (i.e., World War II trivia, and general knowledge about cellulite).

10:30 COM THE SARAH SILVERMAN PROGRAM

Sarah bets that it's easier to be a black person than a Jewish person. Sloooowly step away from the topic.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 22

9:00 NBC HEROES

A hero learns a mysterious woman (Veronica Mars' Kristen Bell) is following him! Woo-hoo!

10:30 MTV KAYA

Debut! A "scripted" show from MTV about the life of a young recording star. Hint: Keep your expectations LOW.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 23

9:00 CW REAPER

Sam receives a copy of the contract his parents signed with the Devil—too bad it's in Latin!

10:00 FX DAMAGES

Season finale! Another series that's better to watch on DVD, because it's super twisty-turny!

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 24

8:00 ABC PUSHING DAISIES

Nick tries to discover whether a pilot who crashed his plane into a building committed suicide—or if he was a pal of Osama bin You-know-who.

10:00 ABC DIRTY SEXY MONEY

The twins throw separate b-day parties for themselves—costing a million each?!?