THURSDAY, OCTOBER 25

9:30 NBC SCRUBS

Season premiere! This hospital-based sitcom is back for its 7th season, proving that mediocrity is always rewarded.

10:30 MTV MAKING MENUDO

Debut! Sorry, Ricky Martin! The Latino boy band is being reformed with all new members, and there's no room for abuelo!

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 26

9:00 ABC WOMEN'S MURDER CLUB

The gals vow to track down the guy who gave their show THE DUMBEST TITLE OF ALL TIME.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 27

8:00 AMC THE EXORCIST—Movie

(1973) A pre-teen screams at mom, vomits pea soup, and masturbates with a cross. Sounds like a job for Dr. Phil.

9:00

SCIFI HEADLESS HORSEMAN—Movie

(2007) A town plans to sacrifice a gang of sexed-up teens to a noggin-free equestrian.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 28

8:00 NBC THE BOURNE SUPREMACY—Movie

(2004) Matt Damon stars as an ass-kickin' secret agent amnesiac!

10:30

COM THE SARAH SILVERMAN PROGRAM

Sarah must figure out a way to pay for her dead mother's broken headstone. I don't want to know.

MONDAY, OCTOBER 29

9:00

PBS AMERICAN MASTERS

A fascinating documentary on the life of America's favorite cartoonist, Charles Schulz.

9:00

NBC HEROES

Claire decides to teach the head cheerleader a lesson; a classic plan that never, ever ends well.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 30

9:00 BRAVO QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY

Series finale! This show is still on the air? Yes, it is! But it's your last chance to get queered, so don't miss it!

10:00 FX NIP/TUCK

Season premiere! Christian & Co. move to the plastic surgery capital of the world, Los Angeles!

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 31

8:00 ABC IT'S THE GREAT PUMPKIN, CHARLIE BROWN

Linus is convinced that a living giant pumpkin will visit him on Halloween—until the meds kick in.

9:00

SCIFI GHOST HUNTERS LIVE

Six straight hours of live ghost hunting... or you could go to sleep, which is what I plan on doing.