THURSDAY, JANUARY 10
8:30 NBC 30 ROCK
Season finale (thanks to the stupid writers' strike)! Kenneth gets addicted to "devil's liquid"—coffee!
10:00 BRAVO MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL
Debut! Niki Taylor and Tyson Beckford try to turn 14 schlubs into super hot supermodels.
FRIDAY, JANUARY 11
9:30 CMT MY BIG REDNECK WEDDING
Debut! It's the classic story of hillbilly-meets-hog, hillbilly-marries-hog.
11:00 HBO REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER
Season premiere! Likeable blowhard Bill returns with a stellar lineup of Bush bashers.
SATURDAY, JANUARY 12
9:00 SCIFI THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY—Movie
(2005) Based on Douglas Adams' book, a human and his alien pal travel the cosmos after Earth is blown to poop.
SUNDAY, JANUARY 13
9:00 PBS MASTERPIECE
Masterpiece Theatre hips up its name, as well as the cast of Jane Austen's Persuasion, costarring Anthony Head (Giles from Buffy the Vampire Slayer)!
8:00 FOX TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES
Debut! Sarah protects her son from a bunch of futuristic a-hole tin cans.
MONDAY, JANUARY 14
8:00 FOX PRISON BREAK
Season premiere! Michael loses weight the easy way—in a Panamanian sweatbox!
8:00 NBC AMERICAN GLADIATORS
A mother of twins battles a shark fisherman. Can't the twins just battle the shark?
TUESDAY, JANUARY 15
8:00 FOX AMERICAN IDOL
Season premiere! Oh, for the love of God... here we go again. Well, bring on the retards!
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 16
10:00 BRAVO PROJECT RUNWAY
The contestants must impress a super snooty Italian judge in this show that gets better by the episode!
10:30 COM RENO 911!
Season premiere! Deputy Wiegel has a beautiful newborn baby—which she is prepared to sell to the highest bidder.