THURSDAY, JANUARY 17

8:00 ABC UGLY BETTY

Betty's new perfume has some unexpected effects... sexified effects!

10:00 VH1 CELEBRITY REHAB WITH DR. DREW

Hilarity(?) ensues when the celebs go through detox and suffer painful withdrawals.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 18

7:00

FAM BRING IT ON MARATHON—Movie

(2000) The greatest cheerleader movie ever made, and it's sequel (Bring it On Again) back to back!

SATURDAY, JANUARY 19

7:00 SCIFI RESIDENT EVIL—Movie

(2002) Hotsy-totsy Milla Jovovich stars as a hotsy-totsy operative who battles not so hotsy-totsy zombies.

8:00

SPIKE PROS VS. JOES

Ordinary schlubs go up against the greatest (retired) sports figures... and still get their asses handed to them.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 20

8:00

CBS THE AMAZING RACE

Season finale! The final contestants have one last chance to insult foreign cultures.

10:00 AMC BREAKING BAD

Debut! Bryan Cranston (the dad from Malcolm in the Middle) stars as a dying chemistry teacher/meth dealer in this promising new series!

MONDAY, JANUARY 21

8:00 NBC AMERICAN GLADIATORS

A lawyer and a mortgage broker get the white-collar poop beat out of them by "Wolf." Ahhh-ROOOOOO!

9:00

FOX TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES

John finds it tough fitting in at his first day at Murderous Robot High School.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 22

8:00 FOX AMERICAN IDOL

America laffs it up as more mentally handicapped hopefuls audition.

11:00

BRAVO THE MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER

Debut! A businesswoman locates girlfriends for millionaires. But they are NOT whores, okay?!

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23

9:00 FOX THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

Debut! Contestants answer super embarrassing questions while hooked up to a lie detector to win big bucks.

10:30 COM RENO 911!

The deputies run into a celebrity bounty hunter. Drool conrol, guys! Drool control!