THURSDAY, JANUARY 17
8:00 ABC UGLY BETTY
Betty's new perfume has some unexpected effects... sexified effects!
10:00 VH1 CELEBRITY REHAB WITH DR. DREW
Hilarity(?) ensues when the celebs go through detox and suffer painful withdrawals.
FRIDAY, JANUARY 18
FAM BRING IT ON MARATHON—Movie
(2000) The greatest cheerleader movie ever made, and it's sequel (Bring it On Again) back to back!
SATURDAY, JANUARY 19
7:00 SCIFI RESIDENT EVIL—Movie
(2002) Hotsy-totsy Milla Jovovich stars as a hotsy-totsy operative who battles not so hotsy-totsy zombies.
SPIKE PROS VS. JOES
Ordinary schlubs go up against the greatest (retired) sports figures... and still get their asses handed to them.
SUNDAY, JANUARY 20
CBS THE AMAZING RACE
Season finale! The final contestants have one last chance to insult foreign cultures.
10:00 AMC BREAKING BAD
Debut! Bryan Cranston (the dad from Malcolm in the Middle) stars as a dying chemistry teacher/meth dealer in this promising new series!
MONDAY, JANUARY 21
8:00 NBC AMERICAN GLADIATORS
A lawyer and a mortgage broker get the white-collar poop beat out of them by "Wolf." Ahhh-ROOOOOO!
FOX TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES
John finds it tough fitting in at his first day at Murderous Robot High School.
TUESDAY, JANUARY 22
8:00 FOX AMERICAN IDOL
America laffs it up as more mentally handicapped hopefuls audition.
BRAVO THE MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER
Debut! A businesswoman locates girlfriends for millionaires. But they are NOT whores, okay?!
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23
9:00 FOX THE MOMENT OF TRUTH
Debut! Contestants answer super embarrassing questions while hooked up to a lie detector to win big bucks.
10:30 COM RENO 911!
The deputies run into a celebrity bounty hunter. Drool conrol, guys! Drool control!