THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 7
8:00 CW SMALLVILLE
While working for the Green Arrow, Chloe gets her ass handed to her by the Black Canary!
9:00 ABC LOST
After threatening to chop off Jack's head, the castaways begin to question their rescuers' intentions.
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 8
9:30 VH1 FREE RADIO
Debut! Comedian Lance Krall heads this improvised comedy about a deadbeat radio station.
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 9
8:30 ABC CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY—Movie
(2005) Johnny Depp takes over the Gene Wilder role in this less successful take on Willy Wonka.
9:00 SCIFI THE BONE EATER—Movie
(2008) HEY!! Who ate my bone?!?
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 10
8:00 CBS THE GRAMMY AWARDS
Striking writers have been given the go-ahead to write for the Grammys—who wants to bet it will be WORSE?
10:00 AMC BREAKING BAD
Walter and Jesse learn an important lesson about pouring acid over a dead body in the bathtub.
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 11
9:00 FOX TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES
Agent Ellison comes across something that looks strangely like a Terminator ass-kicking scene.
9:00 VH1 FLAVOR OF LOVE
Season premiere! Strangely, Flavor Flav still hasn't found the girl of his dreams... so... bring out the new set of skanks!
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 12
8:00 USA WESTMINSTER DOG SHOW
It's the closing night ceremonies to find out who exactly is the world's best bitch.
9:00 CBS BIG BROTHER
Season premiere! Yet another gang of douchebags move in to the Big Brother house. (FREE JULIE CHEN!)
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13
8:00 FOX AMERICAN IDOL
The 24 semifinalists are announced—so start looking for naked pictures of them on the internet... NOW!
9:00 ABC SUPERNANNY
Jo goes toe to toe with the parents of six little monsters. (Good thing she's got her shots.)