THURSDAY, JULY 10

8:00 CBS GREATEST AMERICAN DOG

Debut! Owners and pets live and compete together in one giant kennel. Hope somebody brought the Renuzit.

10:00 USA BURN NOTICE

Season premiere! An ex-CIA spy becomes a Miami private dick in this wittier-than-average show.

FRIDAY, JULY 11

10:00 CBS FLASHPOINT

Debut! A new show about an elite SWAT team starring Amy Jo Johnson... omigod! She's the pink Power Ranger!!

10:00 SCIFI STARGATE ATLANTIS

Season premiere! I'm only listing this because you're a big nerd, and I love you.

SATURDAY, JULY 12

8:30 MTV THE REAL WORLD REUNION

The gang gets together to relive their most memor-able vomits.

SUNDAY, JULY 13

8:00 CBS BIG BROTHER

Season premiere! Acck! It's like herpes! It just keeps coming back!

9:00 HBO GENERATION KILL

Debut! Embedded journalist Evan Wright turns his great book about the war in Iraq into this great miniseries.

MONDAY, JULY 14

9:00 TNT THE CLOSER

Season premiere! Kyra Sedgwick returns as the detective who loves coffee... because coffee is for closers! GET IT?! Oh, never mind.

10:00 E! THE SOUP PRESENTS

Another very funny retrospective of the year's most foul-mouthed celebrities!

TUESDAY, JULY 15

10:00 A&E THE CLEANER

A former doper tries to help other dopers in this new show starring Benjamin Bratt and... Boomer from BSG?!? EEEE!!!!

10:00 MTV FROM Gs TO GENTS

Debut! A new reality show that tries to teach manners to thugs. Hmmmm... racist much?

WEDNESDAY, JULY 16

8:00 FOX SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE

The top 10 dancers (who apparently really think they can dance) perform.

9:00 BRAVO PROJECT RUNWAY

Season premiere! Sixteen new designers try to "make it work, people!"